the fifth and final month of maternity leave

homg guys i can’t believe we’re here already … the fifth and final month of my maternity leave. nooooo! on the first night of my maternity leave, i was rolling my hips on my exercise ball, talking to Watermelon inside my bump about how i can’t stand the fact that i didn’t know when she was coming out, but that i’d try to be patient, relaxed, and submit wholeheartedly to Allah swt’s plans. that very night, my waterbag leaked. and 5 months later … here we are. alhamdulillah, and masyaAllah 🙂

i think of maternity leave as a really sweet period in life: when else am i going to get paid while staying at home?! it has been really, REALLY nice being able to sleep in, spend lots of time with Watermelon and NG, and not worry about work. alas, life has to go on, and i’ve to throw myself into a huge series of changes as i experience for myself what it’s really like to be a working mum of one.

anyhoos, highlights for this month:

infantcare (!)

when we toured the infantcare centre last year, the principal mentioned that it’ll be good to enroll our baby early, before she starts recognising faces and/or developing separation anxiety. hence we enrolled Watermelon this month so that she’ll get a gentle transition into infantcare, and can slowly get to know her new caregivers.

on paper, they said that one parent is allowed to accompany the child until 1.00pm on the first two days. it was going to be me, and i was planning to bring her back early. however, they ended up letting both NG and me in on her first day, though NG dragged me out after an hour because he felt that we were imposing on the principal who was layan-ing us, AND that i was starting to ask ngada2 questions like requesting for them not to put Watermelon in their Bumbo seats and asking why almost all the babies had runny noses 🤷🏻‍♀️

the second day, i went again because i wanted to observe the shower process (Ngiao Mother alert!) but i had to rush back due to some unforeseen circumstances, so boo. when i fetched her though, i hung around while they fed her (it happened to be close to her feeding time) and i played with the other kids instead. the older ones were super friendly and fun to play with. hopefully once Watermelon is their age, she’ll be friendly and independent too.

y’know, before infantcare started, i imagined dropping off Watermelon at the centre and then hiding behind one of the pillars to cry. but actually never leh. Watermelon has not cried (yet) when we drop her off. mostly she looks blur/confused, lulz. so what actually happens is that i’ll drop her off and then go home to SLEEP. i love her and everything, but it was also really nice to have a few hours to myself. a part of me wondered whether i’d regret not spending every possible minute with her while i still can, though another part figured out that i’m in a better place when i can have some me-time and then take care of her again in the afternoon when i’m more recharged.

it’s barely been a month but so far it’s been quite good alhamdulillah. i really like the principal — and Watermelon likes her too! — because she’s bubbly, approachable, and engages well. like she’d update me about how Watermelon adapted that day and say some encouraging things like “she’s okay with all the teachers here” or “she can play!” apparently Watermelon gets very angry, like “can shake the earth” when she’s hungry. and refuses to let go of her milk bottle even when it’s empty 😳😂

most importantly, i’m comfortable with our arrangement. although i hate it when people comment “kesian…” (poor thing…) when they find out she’s in infantcare. like please don’t pity my daughter, insyaAllah she’s in good hands.

ramadhan 2017

wow, this year’s ramadhan experience is much better! last year, i was feeling all bluek from morning sickness and prenatal blues. so it’s nice to be thriving again. fasting while breastfeeding was okay for me, alhamdulillah. water parade is a must: i aim to drink close to 3L of water from buka till sahur every night.

i also had to start pumping milk since infantcare started. i often fall short of my own targets, and it’s not like i even aim for much, so i have to squeeze in extra pump sessions 😦 though i read that i should just serve Watermelon how little expressed bm i have, so that she can get the cue to drink more when she’s direct latching. but with the repeated feedback on her hangry-ness, i think i better chiong on my pumping lah eh.

i finally learnt (after all the internet articles!) the importance of the nutrition quality of our sahur and buka. one time we went out to The Ramen Stall at 4.30am for sahur, thinking it was nice to #yolo and enjoy the empty streets. by 9-10am though, i was filled with regret coz the amount of sodium in the ramen was totes dehydrating my body. eeps.

NG and i started the month enthusiastically cooking our own meals, though we soon grew lazier and started getting takeaways or relying on our mums. oh well, it was nice though when we were semangat about meal planning and grocery shopping. don’t know what’s the chances that we can keep it up once work starts.

final reflections

i’m really glad i extended my maternity leave by about 6 weeks, and got to spend ramadhan at home. otherwise i can’t imagine how overwhelming it would be to adapt back to work life + get used to a pumping regime + establish our own sahur and buka routines since moving into our own home, etc etc.

now that this stay-at-home phase is ending, i’m suddenly missing the confinement period. the first month was hard; all the learning, adapting, struggling. but it was also the sweetest, as NG and i started trying to figure out this parenting thing and marvelled at the novelty of having a newborn at home. plus i’m proud of us for mostly managing it on our own, partly thanks to NG’s flexi work hours. otherwise i’m not sure i would have lived on to blog this right now. ok, i exaggerate. 

these days Watermelon’s growing so fast. she’s developing motor skills rapidly, and that unfortunately includes pinching and scratching us owwwwww. it’s going to be a blink of an eye before she starts crawling, walking, and suddenly becoming a toddler with a mind of her own. and i’ll look back at this phase thinking about all the sweet memories we had when she was in the first few months of her life.

just a few months ago, i couldn’t see myself as a person who could gush genuinely about motherhood because it’s no walk in the park. feels more like a boot camp to me, to be honest. only Allah swt knows each of our struggles eh. but today, i look back and think: alhamdulillah, masyaAllah, subhanAllah. thank you Allah for lending us Watermelon. she has truly been a blessing in our lives, from the very beginning ❤

 

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