room makeover + invitation card woes

erhmagoddd, my room makeover is SO. MUCH. WORK. i feel like it’s as big an undertaking as planning the wedding day, can??!! you see, we are the type of household that owns 1,573,856 items so seriously trying to clear the things out was so, so painful. took me so many rounds. yet, the headache is not over because i’ve still got to think about how to reorganise my things once i have a roomie. for example, i like to dump my handbag and laptop bag in a corner of the floor every day. but once ninja groom moves in, like a bit not nice hor? hai.

NG and I spent the Good Friday public holiday painting the room to my new choice colours of white + grey. we’re not pro painters so it is a little comot here and there, with some booboos related to sealants (say what?) and accidental paint on the wooden panels but whatevs. i’m just happy it’s done. done! woohoo. the day has finally arrived.

i would have loved to get a professional painter to spare us the trouble, but my dad wouldn’t hear of it. then i heard from mama kraken that the charges for painting one room is easily $500 (not sure if true or not). if so, then I guess okay lah, it wasn’t a bad idea to DIY. $500 is a lot of money, espesh when i’m trying to boost my honeymoon shopping budget!

what’s next is to arrange for the delivery of the new bed and mattress (which we ordered way back in Oct) and buy a nightstand and new rack from Ikea. then, mama kraken and two of her friends will help do up my bilik pengantin. although NG and I are not getting solemnised in my house, mama kraken has always insisted that i must have a nice bilik pengantin for the occasion. what occasion ah? my wedding and marriage lah. you know, in case you were thinking of something else.

backtrack a bit, when i was younger i used to dream of getting solemnised in my house because after all, i have spent all my life staying here. (word has it that my family moved in the day after newborn me was discharged from hospital) but when the realities of wedding planning started, i realise NO WAY are we going to clear up the house man. as it is, cleaning up one room was already a slooow torture, what more the common areas? *does the big X sign furiously*

so back to my bilik pengantin — mama kraken already helped buy nice bedsheets for me when she went to Guangzhou two years ago. back then, our wedding date was not confirmed yet but she was already … future-ready, to borrow the public service’s term. huhaha. then last year, she helped me buy new curtains from Guangzhou too. phew. thank god for mama kraken cos i really have no shred of energy left to bling up my room!

also, since we are on the topic. recently i stumbled upon Dalillah Ismail’s bridal chamber from when she got married last year:

wah, love this! the sweet colours, the ruffles, but most of all, the mannequin. though i really have no business having a mannequin in my room lol. i mean, she’s a personal style blogger so i think she can pull it off… but not me.

me vs parents: wedding card drama

anyway! it’s the busy period for parents and me as we distribute our cards. so just to recap. my wedding is for 1,000 pax. initially, i thought of printing 550 (500 + 10% contingency) cards. but mama kraken asked me to print 600 instead so i was like ok, ok. (my dad likes to say “for some people, it’s one card one person!” he’s said this at least 3 separate times. anybody’s parents too?) after the cards had arrived, my mum asked for 400 cards so i gave them to her. then i took 150 for myself, and guarded the extra 50 cards.

yesterday, my parents asked me to find out how much it is to print extra 100 cards. i was like whaaaat! that’s 700 cards for a “1,000 pax” reception!

i’m not disturbed about printing extra cards: pay, and you will get them. i’m worried about the human jam. will there be enough food? will there be enough seats during crunchtime? sigh. some more, when i was distributing cards to my colleagues earlier this week, i was all “bring your family!” “bring your wife!” “bring your husband!”. wah, if i had known that my parents guest list was going to be bigger than expected, i wouldn’t have gone out to ask my colleagues to bring their plus ones seh. some more, colleagues are likely to make arrangements to attend my wedding together so majority would have been fine without their plus ones, i feel.

mama kraken said if the guest list turns out to be 1,100 pax instead, she’ll update the caterer. i know from reading ex-BTB blogs that a ballooning invite list is one of the more common conflicts with parents, so i knew there was no point arguing about this. plus, my parents are paying for food so i also don’t have the right to tell them what to do. i just bitterly told NG that whatever, even if there’s a shortage of food or seats on the day, i’ll just keep smiling on from my pelamin. these situations will be for my parents and their orang kuat to settle, not me. heh.

though hopefully, with Allah’s blessings, such things won’t happen in the first place. i mean, must believe in abundance right? luckily mine’s not a combined event or there could be friction arising from this.

and now, to soldier on for the rest of the preps. so…much…work. just over a month to go!

in 50 days… pre-BEAST mode

hello! 50 days left siaaa. though frankly it feels the same as when it was 150 or 100 days away… macam still very far. but preps wise, won’t be soon before long till it gets into BEAST mode. hur.

so some quick (or not) updates on preps:

– I’ve become less of a procrastinator. These days I feel more anxious to strike things off the to-do list, in anticipation of crunch time later.

– More honeymoon preps. Applied for my visa and my international driving permit (trying to step brave here), booked one of our intercity buses, emailed our hotel to request for early check in (“we would just have completed a 21h red eye flight and would much appreciate M&C’s hospitality,” I wrote pitifully.) Also starting to plan a skeletal itinerary and research on the attractions so we can group the nearby ones together-gether.

– Parents met caterer to bring them on a site visit, finalise menu and deliverables, work out the little details, and pay (a pretty huge) deposit. Though it’s also worth noting that it’s our first payment to them since booking them last year. Conclusion is that the package we’re getting is mad generous. Lots of types of food and nasi berkat to give to guests, not inclusive of the berkat for our relatives. Also, she will provide cutlery for my meja pengantin. Selamat!

– Selected outfits! I was soooo excited about this! I even packed a bag with a baju kurung I was 50/50 about on wearing for nikah so that I could show the mak andam in case the dress I wanted was not available! I also brought tudungs that I bought in anticipation of the dresses I wanted! And then! I was told that I would not be allowed to try out the baju during selection!






Wait… what?

Yeah, terus hampa seh. Hah. It was a good thing I found out about this a few hours before my apmt. I happened to be SMSing them about package prices and all that. Otherwise, my face would have turned black during the apmt seh. Sian lor. But what to do? We chose the dresses off the rack based on the colour, and referenced a lot to previous photos of brides on their FB. So turns out all my stalking was not actually stalking, but legit homework for my selection. 

So anyway, heads up to the relevant BTBs. So you know what to expect. Also I thought my selection apmt was relatively late (<2 mths to wedding), compared to what I hear from my BTB friends who took other bridal houses.

Separately, I’m really glad I brought a bridesmaid with me. She helped to filter the outfits and I pretty much just said yes or no. Hee. Meanwhile, NG sat on the couch and played with his phone most of the time.

– Got a sketch of my pelamin from my decor company. It looks pretty good! And also a floor plan which needs to be rejigged… big time.

– Seems like my skin is deteriorating. Thinking of ordering a new pack of The Regimen from Amazon to salvage it.

– April will be the month of pampering, I think. Salon trip, dental visit, and maybe a spa? 😀

– But April will also be the month of doing my room makeover furreals. Not super looking forward to the work involved, but reminding myself that nothing worth it is ever easy! Must. Work. Hard.

– Speaking of which, I’m also stressed about my majlis khatam Quran. I was just thinking this morning about how I don’t regret at all going on this journey. If I didn’t have this event objective, I think it would have been a lot harder to get over the inertia + nafs of occupying my time with the other things to get into the groove of regular ngaji again. Even if I made a personal resolution to khatam by XX, I think it would have taken truckloads of discipline to strive towards it. However, I also do wish that I started earlier. I now have about 7 weeks to finish the second half of the Quran. It’s a stretch goal. I’m sure at the end of it I would feel a huge, huge sense of accomplishment, but right now I often fret about whether I can clock enough hours each week to ngaji.

– Also, insyaAllah I won’t be the only one to khatam. Mama Kraken, and her friends (10? 20? of them) are sharing the majlis with me. It’s good I guess, though I also feel pressure. My mum is catching up on me! (Ni pun nak competitive eh.)

– Bordering on TMI, some weeks back I went to the GP to get pills. You know, that sort of pills, cos we don’t plan on having kids so soon. I thought I would start about 2 months early because it’s a new routine to get used to. You have to pop the pill around the same time every day. If you miss them, it backfires. I was also pretty worried about potential side effects, and would rather find out now than later. The thing is that every body reacts differently, so the only way to find out is to take a leap of faith and try it. Manufacturers also say it takes about 3-6 months for some side effects to go away. On the advice of UndercoverBride, I doa’ed for a smooth journey before popping my first one. Alhamdulilah, it’s been uneventful thus far though I’m still fairly new. The upside about being on the pill is that your period becomes fairly predictable, so I did my calculations before choosing what date to start 😉

– My invites were long ready. I’m just waiting for a socially acceptable time to start approaching for addresses and sending them out. Lulz. I can’t reconcile the Melayu logic of “not sending too early or people will forget.” Cos in the corporate world, the earlier the notice, the better kan? Nonetheless some cards have gone out, espesh the ones by hand. I also approached some of my Chinese friends and colleagues already, not because they’re higher priority, but because I think it’s more normal for them to receive invites more than 4-6 weeks before a wedding. Two have even asked me “so… where’s my invite?” Haha. 

That’s all the updates for now. To smooth preparations ahead, insyaAllah. 

Oh yeah one last thing! I have my previous years’ raya bajus which are too small for me. Does anyone know any organisation or disadvantaged family whom I can donate them to? The kurungs are generally sizes UK6-8 and more suited for orang muda. Thank you! 

i now haz bridesmaids…!

a couple of weeks back, ninja groom and I went back to our draft wedding programme to add more details. our biggest breakthrough is that during the break between my reception and his, he will go back to his reception to catch his early guests. meanwhile, I’ll be at my house washing up and re-applying make up. then he fetches me and we march in together.

quite a good idea from him, I must say.

so then, he reminded me to be ready on time that day and I realised that uh oh, I’ll really need a time keeper and a liaison officer (chey) to help coordinate with NG’s groomsmen.

before this, my idea was to have just two pengapit. somehow I prefer the Malay word, cos “bridesmaids” just seem to conjure images of matchy clothes-wearing ladies accompanying the bride. but I digress. back then, my mentality was a) I didn’t want to trouble too many girlfriends from having to accompany me from start to finish. there’s bound to be lulls and I didn’t want them to feel bored at my wedding. and b) I didn’t want to buy them cloth cos then they’ll have to tailor, and I didn’t want to impose on them. as for readymade baju… well, I didn’t really think of that nor set aside the budget :p

so back to being on time for NG’s reception, I thought maybe I should have a small team of bridesmaids after all. plus, NG and I know myself so well. we know that months after the wedding, I’m going to stumble upon a pic of a bride and her beautiful bridesmaids (probably from one of you BTBs?), and then I’m going to turn to NG and whine about how I wish I had bridesmaids at my wedding. and then I’ll regret. and then I will keep whining about it for a few days until I get over myself. haha. hence NG was supportive about me assembling my bridesmaids. I’m the sort who doesn’t have a girl gang (I wish I did!) so instead my close girlfriends come from different circles or life stages. I also figured that it’s a good investment to make in getting them acquainted with each other, cos in future in shaa Allah we might want to host friends at our place: house warming, baby shower(s), birthday parties etc.

I didn’t have any fancy proposals… I just asked them individually lor, if they would like to be my bridesmaid. haha. tak romantic langsung eh. I also asked, out of courtesy, if they would be okay if I bought kain and then they went to find their own tailors. they all said yes, though I gotta concede I wouldn’t know if any of them said yes but thought otherwise in their hearts :p at first I regretted not thinking of bridesmaids earlier, or I could have bought kain during my KL trip in December. but then I remembered that I was heading to Bandung in February, so I could get their kain from there instead. even more exciting!

also, in an earlier entry, i had said that i hope to keep my wedding as least manpower intensive as possible. well, i take it back. i’ve decided that my bridesmaids and siblings will need Real Responsibilities to help keep the wedding run smoothly in the best interests of both my and NG’s guests.

kain shopping

at the famous Pasar Baru in Bandung, mama kraken brought me to a shop called Median (look for Zahra or Eti) on level 2 to buy kain. now, the shop is messy like hell. it’s daaamn crowded with customers and sales assistants, and sometimes you have to walk like you’re on a balance beam: one foot in front of the other, careful not to trample on other people’s feet. you also have no choice but to rempuh gulung-s of kain. and some parts of the shop look like the ancient ruins of…kain. totally inaccessible. buuut after looking at other (more organised but less crowded) shops, I could understand why mama kraken asked me to buy from the chaotic Median. it’s cos the lace from the other shops were of a lower quality… some of them felt rougher and more stiff :/

bridesmaids illusion

the above sums it up. haha. i really wanted gold and green, but after finding nice gold lace, it was hard to find a good matching lining (“puring”, in bahasa). and after finding a nice emerald green (called “hijau botol” in their language… inspired by Heineken agaknye), everyone (mama kraken + my relative + sales assistant 1 + sales assistant 2) gave me looks of doubt. the colours didn’t complement!

AUURRRGHHH. –> kraken war cry

so i went for turqoise-ish mint green-ish powder blue-ish with pink-ish instead. it was v confusing because i initially wanted this mint green lace but it turned out that they didn’t have enough for 5 people, so i had to change and re-pick the lining and kain (as in the skirt). boo.

but still! i really enjoyed kain shopping. when i was young, following my mum go kain shopping was absolute torrrturrreeee. but now, my favourite part of Pasar Baru was the kedai kain. haha! what a makcik i have become. i mean, it’s really like problem solving. you pick a lace. and then you have to find an appropriate lining. and then you pick the kain. and then you stare at it and ponder. then maybe you swap one of the elements. and so it goes on.

and also, when we were there, we started remembering people that we also needed to buy kain for, so our list was like never ending… as was the final bill 😮

some messy pics:

the first bridesmaids meeting

way before my Bandung trip, i already created a Whatsapp group for my bridesmaids. i also used Doodle to arrange a dinner get together, where I could pass them the kain, in advance. so proud of myself for my mini-foresight, if I may say so myself :p I was a bit scared and paiseh lah, cos in a different context, I’m like the group facilitator who’s supposed to get the ball rolling and get the team to bond so that we can achieve our objectives together. alamak, plan my own wedding also must practise my leadership skills. this is getting too serious, guys.

but alhamdulilah, the dinner turned out fine, even though one of them couldn’t make it cos she was sick. it helped that another bridesmaid brought her baby along, so that helped to create conversation and break the ice a little.

so now we’re left to find a tailor who can take our orders, and i also need to scope their responsibilities so that everyone has something meaningful to do and that everything can run smoothly. 

afterthoughts

a friend X was telling us how she’s going to be a bridesmaid for Bride A, but had to break the news to two other friends Y and Z that A had not chosen them. Y and Z were upset and X couldn’t help but feel stuck in the middle. 

this made me realise that who we don’t pick is as important as who we do pick. there may be some friends in the grey area whom we have to properly engage so as not to hurt their feelings. sensitive yo. (I’m learning first hand…)

when NG heard the story, he turned to the other guy friend at the table and retorted “kenapa perempuan susah sangat eh?” heh. so true but we girls really can’t help it!

designing my own invites: part 1

designing invites is one of my major DIY undertakings, so here’s part 1 of my experience.

first, let’s establish my card size. I’m going for an A6-sized card when closed. in other words, it’s a quarter of an A4 paper. and when you open it, it’ll be A5 i.e. half of an A4 paper.

front cover

I have a talented cousin who draws super well. so for my front cover, I asked her to help draw an illustration of ninja groom and me on a pelamin hee. in the moodboard that I shared with her, I even included this nurita harith dress that I once saw IshQ post, which my cousin then drew something similar on me. if I do end up selecting that dress, it would be very cool! but it all depends whether the dress is available during my weekend and whether it’s within my budget lah right.

I’ve posted the front cover mood board before, but let me post it again:

kraken wedding invite moodboard

I think the front cover is pretty crucial since it’s gonna be people’s first impression when they see the card, so I’m glad I got it out of the way really early. it was such a smooth process liaising with my cousin. alhamdulilah :’)

inside pages

I wanted the layout and info of my inside pages to be clean. no squeezing of text or cluttering of info. so to achieve this, I designed my inside page to be 1 x portrait, instead of 2 x landscape. Malay text on left, English text on right.

I looked to my ex-classmate’s wedding invite for inspiration. feeling bad, I even smsed her to “confess” that I was shamelessly copying hers so that when she sees my card, she won’t be like, “eh ini macam aku punya dulu eh?” haha. alhamdulilah, she was very supportive of the idea. she was like “bagus kan! senang untuk orang tua baca”.

so a tip to those DIY-ing cards is to keep those invites that you like, for easy referencing (copying) later!

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the emotional process of room cleaning

it turns out that I’m inefficient in de-cluttering my room to make space for a new roomie and start a new phase in life. you see, I have this ambitious plan to get rid of ALL the furniture in my bedroom except for the built-in wardrobe. these include my bed frame and mattress, my study desk, computer chair, two bookshelves, and a TV console. it might sound like a short list, but actually the study desk and two bookshelves contain soooo many things accumulated over the years which makes it a massive exercise to slowly go through drawer by drawer, shelf by shelf, cabinet by cabinet.

what happens is that at first attempt of going through a compartment, I identify maybe 30-40% of things to throw. then it takes another round before I relent on throwing more things. I sort my trash into two bags. personal things go into the rubbish chute, which I trust nobody ever bothers to sift through. functional but nonetheless unwanted items go into a bag that I throw at my void deck: a little treat for the scavengers in my neighbourhood. who knows, maybe someday I’ll recognise my belongings in a Sungei Rd stall…

it also turns out that cleaning the room is an emotional process. I uncovered old journals and forgotten letters — how apt was it that I spent NYE reading an old note I wrote in late Dec 2008, summarising the highlights of that year and spelling out my bright hopes for 2009? I also came across ninja groom’s one year anniversary letter, also filled with hope and optimism for the happy years ahead. I cried and felt broken thinking about how blissfully ignorant and optimistic we were when we were younger, and how things turned out to be anything but —

when we were in our early twenties, we felt invincible.

I ended up throwing away my travel journals and organisers, except for 2010’s where I had asked my exchange housemates to write messages before we all returned home. I surprised even myself… who would have thought that I, the sentimental hoarder, could do so? but I figured that as we grow older and unlock more life achievements, all the trivial details don’t really matter. in all the years that I’ve kept them journals, I’ve rarely (never?) decided to spend an afternoon reading back the pages to turn back time. anything that was memorable would already have been internalised by then. it’s the lessons and feelings from each memory that we keep in our hearts, not the rest of the noise.

*

for each old letter that I chucked into the For Rubbish Chute plastic bag, I said out loud my best wishes for the sender. things may not have worked out for me and them, but it worked out in the end.

*

and then there’s all the small trinkets I bought when I was younger, thinking I would use them someday. sometimes I was right, but it’s those times that I was wrong that really stand out like a sore thumb, as if to prove my foolishness. it was a painful reminder to myself to be more purposeful with my money, and to be selective and intentional with the things I buy. and to avoid gifts where possible, cos gawd… haha.

and photos… of the good, the bad, the ugly. places, faces, and phases. we’re talking about old school 4R, some even 3R, with the date stamped in orange at bottom right. supersampler, fisheye, and good old classic 35mm. I miss my smooth complexion. if you happen to be reading this, please come back to me.

I’m done with the most personal belongings in my room. now I’m left to comb through my items for the second third fourth time; but this time more ruthlessly. I also need to re-organise my built in wardrobe to make space for man clothes (not mine). the walls need to be repainted. I want a new carpet. I need to think about replacement furniture — perhaps a shorter book shelf? If there’s money left in my room makeover budget at the end — which I doubt — I hope to get a chandelier to replace the frosted glass ceiling lamp my dad chose for me years ago. it has drawings of lions snoozing away, except you know, I was 18 when he bought it.

so let’s end this entry with a fun question. do you still keep anything from your exes?

ROMM interview + KL trip

yesss, I mean, alhamdulilah we settled our ROMM interview earlier on Tuesday. I was going to take leave anyway so I could enjoy a longer break from work this New Year week, and my dad agreed to take afternoon leave too so that we could get the interview out of the way.

the night before our interview, ninja groom asked me a question that left me a little stumped: he asked if my mama kraken was coming. I was like, ah? it didn’t cross my mind to bring her along haha. to me this ROMM interview is just an admin/statutory process so no need ah. choosing and booking our kadi was way bigger a milestone for me.

in the end, my kpo 7 year old niece came along though.

I knew much earlier that I wouldn’t be the kind to be at the ROMM doorstep at 8.30am sharp. I’m not that much of a morning person, I guess.

the plan was to reach ROMM at 2pm ish but we ended up reaching at 2.50pm, hee! to prepare myself, I read ex-BTB posts so I would know what to do and expect. based on dellaire’s advice to go straight to the counter instead of ticketing machine, I rushed into the office the moment the glass doors parted. I was like doing an emergency scan – TICKETING MACHINE! NO! COUNTER! YES TO THE COUNTER! – and rushed (actually it’s a few short steps away only la hahah) there. but all that for naught. the counter lady was attending to another man so I still had to wait and there was no other Muslim couple who arrived same time as us, so really, I was only competing with my inner kraken at most. tetiaow.

there were two couples ahead of us but alhamdulilah, our timing was swee cos the first couple was already at the interview room stage and the second couple was already at the data verification stage. anyway not much comments on the entire process, it’s everything as others have described it to be. the kadi who interviewed us was Uztaz Karim Ahmad, a kind and gentle man.

i found the process not scary at all. We Nak Kahwin was totally right in saying the queue number bell in the waiting was really loud and startling though! haha.

later ninja groom and I teased my niece by telling her that the counter lady had asked us who the little girl was and what happened to her (missing) front teeth. lol.

after we were done with the interviews, we took a quick pic at the two hearts, with halal distance no less. in front of daddykins and my 7 year old niece mah! must reflect well you know :p

two bits of info which I think might be useful to note:

1. a $100 fee is payable to the kadi on the actual day, for his transport and services.

2. changes to the booking details can be made at $15 per transaction, and can be made online up to two weeks before your wedding date. any changes later than that (e.g. witnesses cannot attend due to unforeseen circumstances) have to be made manually i.e. we gotta go down to ROMM again.

actually no 1 contradicts a bit with our friend’s account of how he had to help fetch the kadi for his brother’s or was it his cousin’s nikah. so all along ninja groom and I have had the impression that there should be a designated driver to help fetch our kadi from his prior appointment. I double checked with the counter lady who said no need, the kadi will make his own way, that is what the $100 is for. so we were like ooh, okay!

we were in and out of ROMM within half an hour. wasted our carpark coupon only cos we had put for 1h!

quick update on KL trip – vendeur festival

ok jump topic sikit.

remember how I vowed about staying away from fuzana mokhtaza’s IG? well I totally lied because I checked it again (and again) and found out that she was participating in the vendeur festival at the KL matrade (our singapore expo, senang kata) over the 27-28 Dec weekend.

I was planning to go anyway, after seeing that TudungPeople and ShawlbyVSnow were also participating. cuma sayang that this year CalaQisya wasn’t there. if my memory serves me right, they had participated in last year’s festival which was held at a different location. there was a massive human jam, and the CQ owners were bingit/worried about safety, so they decided to sit out of this year’s. a waste, because this year’s looked like it was better organised! they had 3 halls, with the typical booth frames that we see at expos. the crowd size was not too big, too.

so anyway, FM posted that some of her RTW engagement/bridal pieces would be on sale! me being gatal, wanted to check it out to see if I still stood some chance lah.

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/716/63700862/files/2015/01/img_7333.jpg

@fuzanamokhtaza: We’re pleased to announce that we will bring out our #FuzanaMokhtazaBridal collection at Vendeur Festival 3.0 this 27 & 28th December 2014! **Limited pieces available (suitable for engagement, aqad nikah & wedding reception) with a very good discounts! 

I went on Sunday (ie second day), and unfortch only 2-3 pieces were left. nothing that caught my fancy. plus one of them was going for RM1,500 so I was like *gulp* there were also Hari Raya-ish outfits for sale. there was a gorgeous turquoise songket, like really really gorgeous, buuuut so sad that it wasn’t my size!

it felt like I went crazy shopping but actually my haul was ok ok aje lah. among the things I bought was a jubah with the embellished sleeves — which is all the rage among Malaysian blog shops these days — and also another jubah with a heavily sequinned panel. would have bought more dresses but I tried to hold myself back and ask if I could reaaally see myself wear these pieces. a change from my usual careless beli, beli, beli aje shopping style.

funny thing was that my mum told me to better buy lots of nice clothes because “once you dah kahwin, you pergi kerja kena ada seri sikit” and how “bila you dah bersuami, you kena tunggu untuk dia sebelum you boleh jalan2 gi KL”. I was like oof, reality. technically ninja groom doesn’t work office hours because he’s a financial planner so his schedule is more flexible, but ok lah can’t say. if business is flourishing then his weekends and public holidays could be busier too. insyaAllah.

then my friend and I had some trouble getting out of the place. i thought we could maybe take a bus to LRT (what the website said!) or hail a cab, but the info counter staff told us that it would be a far walk to the bus stop and main road. so we asked if they could help us call a cab but they said they didn’t know the taxi booking number. then I asked if they could help google for it, but they said inside the building got poor internet connection. kaoz! not very helpful yah. one girl even asked me to call a friend to help google for the taxi booking number. I was like kita takde kawan kat sini. she said ah, awak dari mana? dari singapore. ohhh dari singapore… (silence). another girl tried to help check online on her phone but gave up after she couldn’t connect. they also recommended that we use MyTeksi (their versh of GrabTaxi) but we didn’t want to spend on data plans just for this yo. finally someone suggested that we call the operator and ask to be transferred to a taxi booking line.

later on one of the guys turned out to be quite sweet though. he was having a smoke outside and jumped up when he saw us leaving to ask if we had figured it out already. he had downloaded the MyTeksi app for us but he didn’t know how to use it. neither did we. we looked up and saw a cab within the carpark and said we would try our luck there instead. lucky indeedy we were, because we totally hijacked a cab which already had two girls inside. haha!

so we saw the cab approaching and flagged it desperately. the taxi driver rolled down his window to say I dunno what – wasn’t really paying attention. immediately I blurted “bang boleh tumpang??? kita nak pergi masjid India.” he said ok and wahhh me and my friend, like lightning speed, jumped into the cab sia hahah. thankful for Malaysian culture that makes it somewhat okay to do this :p when ninja groom heard my story he was like “bagus eh korang?” eh, mesti ah, desperate bro!

so that’s the KL story lah. apart from tailoring the tanjak, I didn’t get any wedding-related stuff done. my mum had initially wanted to buy the silver/gold terima kasih kind of stickers but I wasn’t too keen. I also didn’t send any raya clothes for tailoring this time cos insyaAllah I plan to get Upik to sew one and then buy a matchy2 RTW one with ninja groom next year. next time if I’m in KL and there’s another major blogshop fest, I would love to go again because the selection was pretty good! we easily spent our whole afternoon there. but next time will have a taxi driver’s number in hand ah.

just a little bit of wedding programme drama

hello! so konon-konon I took a break from wedding planning because we met some obstacles wrt our wedding programme. thankfully all is good now. basically ninja groom’s venue and reception timing went back to the drawing board for discussion, which then caused some uncertainties. my parents and I even discussed possibly combining receptions, which is a bit of a surprise because I’ve always been in the separate receptions camp. although the final decision was to stick with separate receptions, it was a good exercise la to stay open to ideas and be prepared to take a different approach if necessary.

earlier this year when we dealt with similar uncertainties wrt our wedding date, I was super emotionally invested. so this time I was prepared to let go and try my best to be all chill about it, even though I had certain interests that I so badly wanted to protect. I began to reflect about the many things that I get to have my way and tried to tell myself that I need to learn to give in to others. maklum lah kita ni last child kan…sorry kakak-kakak, don’t rasa menyampah ok! the other lesson I learnt was to respect boundaries and not impose too much on his reception, since it’s his family’s majlis. it’s hard because as the pengantin, we have a huge stake, but really the decisions are only for us to follow and respect. for me this whole bertolak ansur and compromising is one of the hardest things about planning a wedding :/ a lot of things are subjective and often there’s no right or wrong…so boleh pening kepala!

but alhamdulilah, in the end it was decided that the timing sticks to status quo, which is good news for me. the downside is that venue will be at the void deck, whereas ninja groom had wanted to be adventurous in holding an open air/high ceiling reception at the badminton court or basketball court so that he could realise his ideal wedding decor concept.

since we were on the topic of re-planning our prog, I also got his agreement to wear something more evening-ish during his reception, instead of the songket that he initially wanted to wear, so yay 😀

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masyaAllah I thought this was so refreshing and preetz! credits to inspirasi perkahwinan

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the same magazine spread also had this. I mockingly showed this pic to ninja groom, who mockingly gave me a comeback. siapa nak teka?

for now, I wish that I had a workflow/timeline for my bridal stuff. macam tak sabar want to pick my outfits and explore the designer collections that my mak andam can bring in – assuming it’s within my budget – but I really have no idea if I’m supposed to contact them to arrange the apmt, or they will allocate me a slot, or which month I can expect for this to happen, if I’m supposed to give a heads up if I’m looking at possibly customising… help! we are almost 6 months away so time to dig up the contracts signed earlier and get things into motion..!

drafting the wedding programme

my typical kraken thought process goes like this:

“I need to accomplish X for the wedding. but it’s too early. so I will do it in a few months’ time”
“but you already thought like that for Y and Z. you are gonna be swamped in a few months’ time”
“hmmm betul jugak eh. might as well do now if I can.”

so that was how I started drafting my wedding programme lulz. it was by chance that one evening I realised I had two admin programmes for 1-day receptions on my desk. one was a close friend’s who got married in end-Aug, and the other was ninja groom’s sister’s who got married recently. so I glanced at them for some intel and then started drafting mine. heh.

I’ve seen programmes which have got details such as who’s in charge of what task down to a T. macam on one hand (I’m gonna be super honest) I wanna judge them for being so bridezilla and control freak-y, but on the other hand, I know the devil is in the details and it’s these things that help keep a wedding run smoothly.

so while I’ve decided on the key programme items, my wedding is still a little too far for me to start nominating (read: arrowing) people for specific tasks. I hope to keep my programme flow as least manpower intensive as possible for my siblings/close friends. and ideally I can relax and truly delegate on my wedding day instead of still whispering instructions while on the dais. we shall see how this goes!

guidelines for drafting a wedding programme

if you’re like me and you think drafting a programme from scratch — while still taking reference from others — is more fun, here’s the list of guidelines I considered when drafting mine. keep in mind that insyaAllah my reception is on a Sat morning-afternoon, and ninja groom’s is on a Sat night. we’ll have 3 outfits: nikah, sanding I and sanding II. our houses and reception venues are max 10 mins away from each other. also, I currently have no plans for cake cutting.

1. start/end of reception: planning to nikah at 11am so it’s not too early for faraway relatives, with the reception ending at 6pm as requested by mama kraken. ninja groom’s reception will be from 5pm to 10pm, but we’ll appear only from 7.45pm/8.00pm onwards

2. photo taking on pelamin: allocated 2h overall for mine. I noticed that both reference programmes allocated 1.5-2h too, and that on both actual days there were no long queues for the pelamin. planning to get more mileage out of my nikah outfit so will be lingering on pelamin for an hour, instead of ciao-ing almost immediately

3. makan time: both reference programmes allocated 30 mins, so ok lor I follow. din realise it’s so short! sempat tak kalau nak makan crepes?? ok just kidding.

4. change of outfit part 1: seems like 1.5h is safe, if you can afford it. minimum seems to be 1h, but also assuming the mak andam is a seasoned pro and that the outfit doesn’t involve a complex sanggul lintang. I’d noticed that one of the brides took much longer than the other to change out.

5. saying goodbye: I feel that the earliest “polite” time for the pengantin to leave, if not rushing off to the partner’s reception, is 4.30pm. plan to bring ninja groom to salam-salam relatives before we make our way home. actually I wanted to make ninja groom a family tree to help him remember who’s who, but mama kraken was like “sudah lah, salam2 aje. it will take some time to betul2 ingat. dulu mak pun sama. semua adik beradik papa kraken mak tak kenal.” considering my dad has like 10 siblings, I can only imagine how kecoh it must have been.

the bare bones programme

11.00am – nikah
11.30am – end of nikah / start of photo taking / start of reception ie food should be ready
12.00pm – official start of reception (as indicated in invites)
12.30pm – leave to change outfits
1.50pm – kraken to be seated at dais / groom to meet pengapit and kompang boys
2.00pm – sanding ie hadang, silat, salam parents etc
2.30pm – photo taking
3.00pm – makan
3.30pm – resume photo taking
4.00pm – salam-salam / mingle-mingle
4.30pm – leave for kraken’s house

intermission
4.45pm – eat, pray, and er… mandi. insyaAllah I will get my MUA to reapply makeup from about 6pm onwards. meanwhile, it’s nap time for ninja groom. (have you guys seen pengantin lelaki-s stealing naps while their brides get ready?! I have, and I think mine will be no exception!)

meanwhile…
6.00pm – end of kraken’s reception / family to pack up and get ready for night reception (I have already started begging mama kraken to keep the logistics simple so that they can pack up fast. for example, I’m telling her not to over-order berkats because a lot of receptions tend to have leftovers. ni yang leceh nak bawa balik!)

groom’s reception
7.45pm – march in at ninja groom’s reception, together with kraken’s family and closest relatives
10.00pm – end!

next, to settle the Ys and Zs to ease any possible crunch time…