actual wedding programme (one day, separate receptions)

before I trash the docs in my wedding file (and make way for materials on reno!!) I thought I might as well share my admin prog.

I previously blogged about my admin programme and also the family meeting closer to date to discuss the programme. in the weeks leading up to the wedding, I think this admin prog was one of the most painful tasks, thanks to the disagreements I had here and there with ninja groom and mama kraken etc.

ok so here are some of the more interesting insights I had from my wedding admin programme:

1. squeezing a quick meal after nikah and before reception was a good move …

… which I can’t believe NG disagreed with during the planning stage. what! why! well anyway, ours was a 11.00am nikah, with my reception entrance at 2.00pm. so if we didn’t grab a quick bite then, I would have starved until 3.00pm or so.

for this post-nikah meal, I decided that we would eat at the common tables so that the cutlery on the meja pengantin wouldn’t be disturbed. assigned my bridesmaids to help scoop food for NG and me, non-hadang style. they did an overly fantastic job sampai kita tak sempat habis.

2. what happens right after nikah

NG and I united on our pelamin and did the salam, sarung cincin etc, while the guests ate as the lunch buffet opened for business. we had a small stream of close friends and relatives taking photos with us. and then we got bored because nobody was coming up to the pelamin. so we thought now would be a good time to go down. right? wrong! cos lepas orang dah makan baru dorang sibuk nak amik gambar. haha. we obliged a little before heading off to eat.

so yeah you may want to bear this in mind. either wait it out patiently on the pelamin till nikah guests have eaten and are ready to congratulate super newly married you, or you eat while they eat and resume photo taking when they’re ready. if that’s not too messy.

3. bridesmaids — an integral part of the admin programme

I believe a typical BTB thought process on bridesmaids goes like this:

just started wedding planning – “I don’t think I need bridesmaids. I don’t want to trouble or bore my friends.”

halfway mark of wedding planning – “eh cantik lah this photo of bridesmaids in matching clothes and the bride. I also want.”

days leading to the wedding – “yay I’m so glad I have bridesmaids to help me do the things I don’t want to do”

day of wedding – *batman voice* WHERE IS SHE?! I need her to do this NOW.

ha ha. but of course after the wedding, it’s all “thank you, sayaaaaang korang.”

I tried to give my bridesmaids meaningful things to do because if anyone has been an idle bridesmaid, you may have found it boring and not a good use of your time. I believe that close friends love to know that they can contribute to our wedding, love to help, and love to be needed by us.

in my mind, my bridesmaids’ duties eventually worked out nicely and equally. some helped with pre-event conceptualising e.g. photobooth, kickstarting the birth of my hashtag, helping me choose baju. the two that weren’t as involved in preps due to work/travel, spent a weekend rehearsing a special performance for me. and the one who couldn’t be too active on that day because she has a baby to look after, was the one who gave me emotional support in the weeks leading to my wedding. being the only married bridesmaid, I could talk to her about wedding prep woes and anxieties on being a wife. alhamdulillah for everything falling into place. trust Allah swt :’)

apart from assigning tasks here and there to them, I also requested them to help me layan guests who are our mutual friends. by layan, I mean to chat with and catch up with them, and invite them to eat more more more. (my bridesmaids come from different circles, with some overlaps) I thought this was clever (sorry, masuk bakul angkat sendiri, I know) cos it was win-win. my bridesmaids get to sit and talk to friends as an “official duty” without having to feel bad that they’re not “helping” or “looking busy”, and my guests get to feel warmly received (I hope!). cos the ironic thing about Malay weddings is that it’s more of a place for you to catch up with mutual friends than with the couple themselves! hence I sent my bridesmaids to catch up on my behalf. anyway I think this worked too well cos when it was time to leave for my outdoor shoot, I couldn’t find them. lol. semua bersepah.

4. the devil is in the details

unless it’s super close to the wedding, say less than 50 days, one might easily dismiss a detailed programme as the works of the bridezilla. and then you try to visualise your programme. and you realise that all the bridezilla details are in fact, necessary. haha.

some details to look into: who’s gonna get into whose car? (you don’t want an orang kuat to feel forgotten or left behind) who’s going to hold on to your NRIC and marriage prep course certs before the nikah? who will jaga your duit hantaran and dulang items after? who will hold on to your house keys for you? who will liaise with the groomsmen on the groom’s arrival? do you want your DJ to page for relatives for photo taking? do your parents want to take photos with you after your sanding? (mine didn’t, ok… said they would be too busy greeting guests at peak hour to run up and take photo with us) will your groom fetch you to go to his reception? (unfortunately this also cannot be assumed… kwang kwang kwang)

on with the programme

ok lah, that was a lot to download right? so here’s my one day, separate receptions programme for reference. the order of the smaller items got mixed up a little (much to my annoyance) and we had to play by ear for photo taking and lunch, but the programme largely stayed the same. no regrets!

the underlined timings reflect the agreed timings. NG had his own bujang programme (probably involved a DOTA game or two in the morning, ok kidding) so we made sure to at least have these key timings synced.

for my admin programme, I created a table in MS Word with 4 columns: time, programme, action by, remarks/advance preps. this is the non-admin versh, which should be enough to give a rough idea 🙂

07.00am – call time for mak andam at bride’s house

09.00am – breakfast served at venue
09.15am – bride leaves home for venue
09.30am – majlis khatam quran

10.30am – end of majlis khatam quran
10.40am – agreed time for bride’s and groom’s delegations to meet

11.00am – akad nikah, sarung cincin etc, photos with bride’s and groom’s parents, photos with bride’s and groom’s nuclear families, photos with guests, bride and groom to grab quick meal with bridesmaids at common tables

12.00pm – RECEPTION OFFICIALLY STARTS
12.30pm – bride and groom leave for outfit change. bride to change at venue’s changing room, groom to change at his house.

1.00pm – start of Hello Forever photobooth
1.50pm – bride to be seated at dais

2.00pm – agreed time for groom’s delegation to meet. hadang, silat performance by bridesmaids.
2.30pm – start of pelamin photo taking with guests

03.00pm – cut cake + makan + go photobooth
03.30pm – resume pelamin photo taking

04.00pm – bride’s thank you speech. bride and groom to salam-salam guests. end of photo booth.
04.30pm – bride and groom leave for short photo taking session around venue.

05.00pm – RECEPTION OFFICIALLY ENDS
05.30pm – start of tear down
06.20pm – those involved in bride’s delegation to groom’s reception to go to bride’s house to wash up

intermission
04.45pm – bride and groom to head back to respective homes. bride to eat, remove make up, shower, pray.

05.25pm – start of make up round 2

groom’s reception
07.30pm – agreed time for groom and wedding car to arrive at bride’s carpark. bride’s delegation to gather at void deck. to meet again at *landmark near groom’s reception*
07.45pm – bride and groom march in with bride’s delegation

10.00pm – end of groom’s reception

family meeting on wedding programme

yesterday we had a Family Meeting to discuss my wedding programme. I was a bit anxious going into it cos I was afraid I would have to overhaul my prog or something. you know, like when you think you have it all nicely planned out and then a sibling or a parent asks “but what about…”

thankfully, nothing (much) like that. we also settled my biggest worry — thanks to my sister stressing me out over her stressing out over this — which is my rombongan / bridal party accompanying me to ninja groom’s reception at night. mama kraken has already secured a core group of close relatives who are willing to stay for the evening, and we’ll also get the help of close neighbours and my bridesmaids to make my send off party more merry insyaAllah. this also means having to watch the time very closely because it wouldn’t be fair to NG and his reception if we’re late so… wish us luck please!

my new worry is the seating plan for my nikah. I’ve always wanted to follow the Malaysian-style where the bride sits on the floor in the same space as the kadi, wali and groom. as opposed to the Singaporean style where the bride sits either in her bedroom, on the chair on the dais, or on a chair in a corner of the room. I was hoping to draw up this seating plan in advance, which means knowing which other uncles will also be sitting on the stage, but mama kraken said we don’t know yet; we have to see who’s there; we have to invite whoever who is there up on the stage (cos we don’t want to offend anybody) and I’m like whaaaaat. there’s limited space on the CC stage kay. and also I want NG to be in my line of sight lulz. otherwise the back of someone’s head is going to be the target of my glares. ok kidding! tak manis kan. it was agreed that we’ll settle this on Fri night when we’ve seen the actual set up. hopefully we find a win-win solution.

Islamic talk by Yasmin Mogahed

anyway, alhamdulilah yesterday I also attended my first Yasmin Mogahed talk at Downtown East. her main message was to love Allah swt most. she also talked about how everything that happens to us is also His Creation, and how there are typically 3 responses when faced with a challenge.

(1) asking “why me?” ie rejecting His Will
(2) with patience/sabr ie accepting His Will
(3) with contentment/redha ie being grateful for His Will, for difficulties are an opportunity for Allah swt to elevate us

do note that above summary is really just scratching the surface. she also shared that it’s normal to be human and feel sad during difficult times and still redha. wallahu a’lam.

so yep thought it was an insightful session. reflected on my responses to certain developments in wedding planning and realised that I could have responded better towards some of the incidents. insyaAllah I hope to carry these lessons with me too for the next chapters in my life. 

hoping for this week to be better than the last two…

i now haz bridesmaids…!

a couple of weeks back, ninja groom and I went back to our draft wedding programme to add more details. our biggest breakthrough is that during the break between my reception and his, he will go back to his reception to catch his early guests. meanwhile, I’ll be at my house washing up and re-applying make up. then he fetches me and we march in together.

quite a good idea from him, I must say.

so then, he reminded me to be ready on time that day and I realised that uh oh, I’ll really need a time keeper and a liaison officer (chey) to help coordinate with NG’s groomsmen.

before this, my idea was to have just two pengapit. somehow I prefer the Malay word, cos “bridesmaids” just seem to conjure images of matchy clothes-wearing ladies accompanying the bride. but I digress. back then, my mentality was a) I didn’t want to trouble too many girlfriends from having to accompany me from start to finish. there’s bound to be lulls and I didn’t want them to feel bored at my wedding. and b) I didn’t want to buy them cloth cos then they’ll have to tailor, and I didn’t want to impose on them. as for readymade baju… well, I didn’t really think of that nor set aside the budget :p

so back to being on time for NG’s reception, I thought maybe I should have a small team of bridesmaids after all. plus, NG and I know myself so well. we know that months after the wedding, I’m going to stumble upon a pic of a bride and her beautiful bridesmaids (probably from one of you BTBs?), and then I’m going to turn to NG and whine about how I wish I had bridesmaids at my wedding. and then I’ll regret. and then I will keep whining about it for a few days until I get over myself. haha. hence NG was supportive about me assembling my bridesmaids. I’m the sort who doesn’t have a girl gang (I wish I did!) so instead my close girlfriends come from different circles or life stages. I also figured that it’s a good investment to make in getting them acquainted with each other, cos in future in shaa Allah we might want to host friends at our place: house warming, baby shower(s), birthday parties etc.

I didn’t have any fancy proposals… I just asked them individually lor, if they would like to be my bridesmaid. haha. tak romantic langsung eh. I also asked, out of courtesy, if they would be okay if I bought kain and then they went to find their own tailors. they all said yes, though I gotta concede I wouldn’t know if any of them said yes but thought otherwise in their hearts :p at first I regretted not thinking of bridesmaids earlier, or I could have bought kain during my KL trip in December. but then I remembered that I was heading to Bandung in February, so I could get their kain from there instead. even more exciting!

also, in an earlier entry, i had said that i hope to keep my wedding as least manpower intensive as possible. well, i take it back. i’ve decided that my bridesmaids and siblings will need Real Responsibilities to help keep the wedding run smoothly in the best interests of both my and NG’s guests.

kain shopping

at the famous Pasar Baru in Bandung, mama kraken brought me to a shop called Median (look for Zahra or Eti) on level 2 to buy kain. now, the shop is messy like hell. it’s daaamn crowded with customers and sales assistants, and sometimes you have to walk like you’re on a balance beam: one foot in front of the other, careful not to trample on other people’s feet. you also have no choice but to rempuh gulung-s of kain. and some parts of the shop look like the ancient ruins of…kain. totally inaccessible. buuut after looking at other (more organised but less crowded) shops, I could understand why mama kraken asked me to buy from the chaotic Median. it’s cos the lace from the other shops were of a lower quality… some of them felt rougher and more stiff :/

bridesmaids illusion

the above sums it up. haha. i really wanted gold and green, but after finding nice gold lace, it was hard to find a good matching lining (“puring”, in bahasa). and after finding a nice emerald green (called “hijau botol” in their language… inspired by Heineken agaknye), everyone (mama kraken + my relative + sales assistant 1 + sales assistant 2) gave me looks of doubt. the colours didn’t complement!

AUURRRGHHH. –> kraken war cry

so i went for turqoise-ish mint green-ish powder blue-ish with pink-ish instead. it was v confusing because i initially wanted this mint green lace but it turned out that they didn’t have enough for 5 people, so i had to change and re-pick the lining and kain (as in the skirt). boo.

but still! i really enjoyed kain shopping. when i was young, following my mum go kain shopping was absolute torrrturrreeee. but now, my favourite part of Pasar Baru was the kedai kain. haha! what a makcik i have become. i mean, it’s really like problem solving. you pick a lace. and then you have to find an appropriate lining. and then you pick the kain. and then you stare at it and ponder. then maybe you swap one of the elements. and so it goes on.

and also, when we were there, we started remembering people that we also needed to buy kain for, so our list was like never ending… as was the final bill 😮

some messy pics:

the first bridesmaids meeting

way before my Bandung trip, i already created a Whatsapp group for my bridesmaids. i also used Doodle to arrange a dinner get together, where I could pass them the kain, in advance. so proud of myself for my mini-foresight, if I may say so myself :p I was a bit scared and paiseh lah, cos in a different context, I’m like the group facilitator who’s supposed to get the ball rolling and get the team to bond so that we can achieve our objectives together. alamak, plan my own wedding also must practise my leadership skills. this is getting too serious, guys.

but alhamdulilah, the dinner turned out fine, even though one of them couldn’t make it cos she was sick. it helped that another bridesmaid brought her baby along, so that helped to create conversation and break the ice a little.

so now we’re left to find a tailor who can take our orders, and i also need to scope their responsibilities so that everyone has something meaningful to do and that everything can run smoothly. 

afterthoughts

a friend X was telling us how she’s going to be a bridesmaid for Bride A, but had to break the news to two other friends Y and Z that A had not chosen them. Y and Z were upset and X couldn’t help but feel stuck in the middle. 

this made me realise that who we don’t pick is as important as who we do pick. there may be some friends in the grey area whom we have to properly engage so as not to hurt their feelings. sensitive yo. (I’m learning first hand…)

when NG heard the story, he turned to the other guy friend at the table and retorted “kenapa perempuan susah sangat eh?” heh. so true but we girls really can’t help it!

in four months / 120 days & the berkat story

9 Jan means just four months (or 120 days) to 9 May, guys! ok clearly I’m so obsessed. I even asked ninja groom twice within the same night if I’ve already told him that my berkats arrived. lol. sorry lah I very excited you know.

but yes, my berkats are here. it’s so surreal! despite it sounding like very exciting news though, it doesn’t look as glam…

because this is what they look like right now.

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heh. we are borrowing the space in the spare room of my brother’s flat. thank you brother!

berkat story: a tale of forks and spoons

so the adults’ berkat story is that my parents settled on a pair of fork and spoon from China. they had gone to Guangzhou in Dec and brought these back via freight. must use freight lah, of course. so heavy and bulky dey~!

sidetrack a bit. did you guys know that the import of forks and spoons is licensed by AVA? well, me neither! so back in Dec we ran into some paperwork hurdles trying to get that permit. our freight company at first quoted $150 to do it on our behalf. mama kraken, all gung-ho about saving this $150, approached my cousin who owns a food shop if we could leverage her AVA licence to apply for the import permit. she kindly agreed. so then I logged on to TradeNet to try apply for this permit, but was stumped! lol. I’ve never spent 2-3 minutes (note: this is a long time by website surfing standards yah) trying to figure out what to do. kauz. they asked for my username and password but I was like, what username and password? how to register? but no, no such registration link. it turns out that you have to log in with a Singpass. ohhhh. THEN SAY SO LAH!!!

the first time I complained to my mum, she said “you don’t know until you try.” *stabs own heart* the second time I complained then she relented on doing it via our freight company. turns out our volume is relatively low (what’s 1,000 pieces by industry standards eh?) so the charge was $80 instead. alhamdulilah! so worth the headache I tell ya.

back to berkat story. a week before my mum left for China, my parents went to joo chiat to do their research. cute and semangat jugak lah my parents. got to give them credit, given their old-ish age and all. they found a supplier for forks and spoons, who gave them a sense of the market price and options etc. but in China, they found forks and spoons that they liked better, so they got those instead.

a couple of days ago, I overheard my parents working out the total sums for the berkat. all in all, the price works out the same. haha. but mama kraken justified that at least the ones they got are what they really like, so she thinks it’s still a good deal.

 

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what’s left is to embellish the berkats with customised stickers. mama kraken and I had a lengthy discussion on how best to decorate the box. initially I thought the boxes are pretty nice on their own and need no further decorating. but mama kraken the mama of kraken has ambitions. she wanted me to somehow add my name and ninja groom’s, and insisted on including a ribbon “because it’s a gift“. at first we didn’t want to use stickers for fear of damaging the box, and had some promising ideas that involved wrapping either a paper sash or a ribbon around the box. but then I realised that all our hard work will be for naught because people are going to remove our add-ons to open the box! heartbreaking kan? so anyway long story short, we agreed on printing stickers. I’ve already found a vendor. insyaAllah will share more on this after the stickers are ready.

wise words from my DIY Queen

so anyway, now that wedding preps are heating up, i’m observing something in me. each time mama kraken asks me to do something, my first reaction is defensive and goes like “aiyaaaah… tak payah lah” or “aiyaaaah… no need so soon lah”. but then i think wedding preps are kinda like training for a 10km run — you get what you put in. so i try to be more positive and think about the end results, and how when the wedding is over, i’ll look back and feel PUAS. this is what mama kraken has been telling me. she said when we look back, even if our own DIY work is senget-benget, we’ll feel a sense of satisfaction. so i’ll take her word for it and try to be hardworking about this all.

OH YA DID I MENTION THAT MY VENUE IS BOOKED?! so you can see why my excitement has gone up a few notches these days. well yes, alhamdulilah, my mum went down to make the payment earlier this week 🙂 🙂

i’m really happy with it because it’s where i grew up. like literally, cos i did my K2 there and also took creative writing and bengkel classes on weekends in pri school. my mum is also a grassroots volunteer there so i’m glad that her jasa/contributions over the years is helping us today, as we plan my wedding.

see, i like it so much i attempted my first ever adobe illustrator drawing just for it. i’m still a novice, so be a little kind ok. also the messy colouring is intentional, in case you’re wondering. “artistic direction”, namanya. ninja groom asked me *twice* what the beige building was. i know la it looks like a hen house without any windows (couldn’t deal.) but it’s legit part of the CC okaaay!

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Original pic. (Source: Streetdirectory)

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the icon in my DIY map – another story for another day? am late for my Simpang Bedok outing!

ROMM interview + KL trip

yesss, I mean, alhamdulilah we settled our ROMM interview earlier on Tuesday. I was going to take leave anyway so I could enjoy a longer break from work this New Year week, and my dad agreed to take afternoon leave too so that we could get the interview out of the way.

the night before our interview, ninja groom asked me a question that left me a little stumped: he asked if my mama kraken was coming. I was like, ah? it didn’t cross my mind to bring her along haha. to me this ROMM interview is just an admin/statutory process so no need ah. choosing and booking our kadi was way bigger a milestone for me.

in the end, my kpo 7 year old niece came along though.

I knew much earlier that I wouldn’t be the kind to be at the ROMM doorstep at 8.30am sharp. I’m not that much of a morning person, I guess.

the plan was to reach ROMM at 2pm ish but we ended up reaching at 2.50pm, hee! to prepare myself, I read ex-BTB posts so I would know what to do and expect. based on dellaire’s advice to go straight to the counter instead of ticketing machine, I rushed into the office the moment the glass doors parted. I was like doing an emergency scan – TICKETING MACHINE! NO! COUNTER! YES TO THE COUNTER! – and rushed (actually it’s a few short steps away only la hahah) there. but all that for naught. the counter lady was attending to another man so I still had to wait and there was no other Muslim couple who arrived same time as us, so really, I was only competing with my inner kraken at most. tetiaow.

there were two couples ahead of us but alhamdulilah, our timing was swee cos the first couple was already at the interview room stage and the second couple was already at the data verification stage. anyway not much comments on the entire process, it’s everything as others have described it to be. the kadi who interviewed us was Uztaz Karim Ahmad, a kind and gentle man.

i found the process not scary at all. We Nak Kahwin was totally right in saying the queue number bell in the waiting was really loud and startling though! haha.

later ninja groom and I teased my niece by telling her that the counter lady had asked us who the little girl was and what happened to her (missing) front teeth. lol.

after we were done with the interviews, we took a quick pic at the two hearts, with halal distance no less. in front of daddykins and my 7 year old niece mah! must reflect well you know :p

two bits of info which I think might be useful to note:

1. a $100 fee is payable to the kadi on the actual day, for his transport and services.

2. changes to the booking details can be made at $15 per transaction, and can be made online up to two weeks before your wedding date. any changes later than that (e.g. witnesses cannot attend due to unforeseen circumstances) have to be made manually i.e. we gotta go down to ROMM again.

actually no 1 contradicts a bit with our friend’s account of how he had to help fetch the kadi for his brother’s or was it his cousin’s nikah. so all along ninja groom and I have had the impression that there should be a designated driver to help fetch our kadi from his prior appointment. I double checked with the counter lady who said no need, the kadi will make his own way, that is what the $100 is for. so we were like ooh, okay!

we were in and out of ROMM within half an hour. wasted our carpark coupon only cos we had put for 1h!

quick update on KL trip – vendeur festival

ok jump topic sikit.

remember how I vowed about staying away from fuzana mokhtaza’s IG? well I totally lied because I checked it again (and again) and found out that she was participating in the vendeur festival at the KL matrade (our singapore expo, senang kata) over the 27-28 Dec weekend.

I was planning to go anyway, after seeing that TudungPeople and ShawlbyVSnow were also participating. cuma sayang that this year CalaQisya wasn’t there. if my memory serves me right, they had participated in last year’s festival which was held at a different location. there was a massive human jam, and the CQ owners were bingit/worried about safety, so they decided to sit out of this year’s. a waste, because this year’s looked like it was better organised! they had 3 halls, with the typical booth frames that we see at expos. the crowd size was not too big, too.

so anyway, FM posted that some of her RTW engagement/bridal pieces would be on sale! me being gatal, wanted to check it out to see if I still stood some chance lah.

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@fuzanamokhtaza: We’re pleased to announce that we will bring out our #FuzanaMokhtazaBridal collection at Vendeur Festival 3.0 this 27 & 28th December 2014! **Limited pieces available (suitable for engagement, aqad nikah & wedding reception) with a very good discounts! 

I went on Sunday (ie second day), and unfortch only 2-3 pieces were left. nothing that caught my fancy. plus one of them was going for RM1,500 so I was like *gulp* there were also Hari Raya-ish outfits for sale. there was a gorgeous turquoise songket, like really really gorgeous, buuuut so sad that it wasn’t my size!

it felt like I went crazy shopping but actually my haul was ok ok aje lah. among the things I bought was a jubah with the embellished sleeves — which is all the rage among Malaysian blog shops these days — and also another jubah with a heavily sequinned panel. would have bought more dresses but I tried to hold myself back and ask if I could reaaally see myself wear these pieces. a change from my usual careless beli, beli, beli aje shopping style.

funny thing was that my mum told me to better buy lots of nice clothes because “once you dah kahwin, you pergi kerja kena ada seri sikit” and how “bila you dah bersuami, you kena tunggu untuk dia sebelum you boleh jalan2 gi KL”. I was like oof, reality. technically ninja groom doesn’t work office hours because he’s a financial planner so his schedule is more flexible, but ok lah can’t say. if business is flourishing then his weekends and public holidays could be busier too. insyaAllah.

then my friend and I had some trouble getting out of the place. i thought we could maybe take a bus to LRT (what the website said!) or hail a cab, but the info counter staff told us that it would be a far walk to the bus stop and main road. so we asked if they could help us call a cab but they said they didn’t know the taxi booking number. then I asked if they could help google for it, but they said inside the building got poor internet connection. kaoz! not very helpful yah. one girl even asked me to call a friend to help google for the taxi booking number. I was like kita takde kawan kat sini. she said ah, awak dari mana? dari singapore. ohhh dari singapore… (silence). another girl tried to help check online on her phone but gave up after she couldn’t connect. they also recommended that we use MyTeksi (their versh of GrabTaxi) but we didn’t want to spend on data plans just for this yo. finally someone suggested that we call the operator and ask to be transferred to a taxi booking line.

later on one of the guys turned out to be quite sweet though. he was having a smoke outside and jumped up when he saw us leaving to ask if we had figured it out already. he had downloaded the MyTeksi app for us but he didn’t know how to use it. neither did we. we looked up and saw a cab within the carpark and said we would try our luck there instead. lucky indeedy we were, because we totally hijacked a cab which already had two girls inside. haha!

so we saw the cab approaching and flagged it desperately. the taxi driver rolled down his window to say I dunno what – wasn’t really paying attention. immediately I blurted “bang boleh tumpang??? kita nak pergi masjid India.” he said ok and wahhh me and my friend, like lightning speed, jumped into the cab sia hahah. thankful for Malaysian culture that makes it somewhat okay to do this :p when ninja groom heard my story he was like “bagus eh korang?” eh, mesti ah, desperate bro!

so that’s the KL story lah. apart from tailoring the tanjak, I didn’t get any wedding-related stuff done. my mum had initially wanted to buy the silver/gold terima kasih kind of stickers but I wasn’t too keen. I also didn’t send any raya clothes for tailoring this time cos insyaAllah I plan to get Upik to sew one and then buy a matchy2 RTW one with ninja groom next year. next time if I’m in KL and there’s another major blogshop fest, I would love to go again because the selection was pretty good! we easily spent our whole afternoon there. but next time will have a taxi driver’s number in hand ah.

150 days: booking our kadi

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it’s here, it’s here! our 150 days mark is here! I still remember blogging about how we were left with 9 months and feeling excited that it was down to a single digit. now we’re down to 5 months…can count on one hand uolls!

I suppose the next 150 days will fly by? I still remember some ex-BTBs reaching their 150 days mark and then what do you know, they’ve been married…for weeks now! though the wedding still feels not soon enough, I guess when I’m down to 100, 50, 5 days, I might look back at this entry and think gurrrrl you should have appreciated that you had 150 days left…

nominating our saksi / witnesses

before wedding planning started furrealz, I had daydreamed about approaching a particular cousin whom I thought could be my saksi. although he’s my cousin by family tree, he’s about 30 years older. growing up, I remember him being a jovial and likeable relative and I used to really look forward to playing with his kids, who are about 4-8 years younger than me.

back then, I thought it would be nice to send him an “invite”– a postcard with an eyeglass and the question “will you be my saksi?” lol. semangat eh. but yah in my dreams only lah, because the truth is that when wedding planning became real, I did feel a tad malas. there are so many other things to do…no time for fluff 😦

and also when I brought up the idea of asking him to be my saksi, mama kraken said something along the lines of “kenapa cari jauh-jauh? suruh [older brother] aje lah” TING! oh a’ah eh. it was a lightbulb moment for me.

so that was that. I casually asked my brother bear one day, who said ok and smsed me his NRIC immediately. settled.

the other saksi is ninja groom’s brother. senang!

ninja groom and I had earlier discussed on which sides the two saksi should come from. then we recalled four weddings where we knew the couple well enough to know who the witnesses were to them. out of the four, three of them had both witnesses coming from the girl’s side. but then two of them involved ang moh grooms so macam skewed sikit lah, haha. in the end we decided to copy the one wedding where the couple got each their brothers to be their witnesses. mama ninja did ask ninja groom whether both saksi should come from my side. I think there are no prescribed guidelines on this? anyway I’m glad that in the end we’re going ahead with one from each side cos firstly, both sides are “represented”. secondly, it’s nice that we are both leaning on our brothers. and thirdly, I was relieved that I didn’t have to think about who to approach for a second saksi :p

booking our kadi – $39

and now the more exciting part. in spirit of being less of a queen control, I gave ninja groom the full honours of choosing our kadi. since in the end it’s gonna be him facing our kadi, anyway. so I didn’t research much on kadis much…only up till last week when I watched some kadi videos on Kahwin Khronicles heh heh. (such a good resource!)

ninja groom’s criteria is that the tok kadi should be someone funny and relaxed, who will put him at ease. he narrowed down to Naib Kadi Hassan and Naib Kadi Ismail. he likes how Uztaz Hassan once cutely put up both hands and told the room (something along the lines of) “sebenarnya awak semua boleh jadi saksi eh, bukan dua orang sahaja”. and as for Uztaz Ismail, we saw him conduct a solemnisation in English before and he was all cool, fast and easy breezy with it. sempat suruh the bride and the witnesses to pose with thumbs up all. also I find that his air muka is so kind and peaceful… important to us!

to prepare for 11 Dec, I passed ninja groom an Excel sheet with all the necessary details (e.g names and NRIC of both of us, my dad, our brothers; nikah date, time and venue; mahr and hantaran) so that he could easily copy and paste the inputs into the form. my venue is a $15 gamble — we’ve not paid the deposit for the CC although the staff assured us that it’s ours on 9 May. they’re tied up now so we’ll go back in Jan 2015 to place the deposit.

I suggested to ninja groom to call the kadi(s) and let them know of his intention to book them, in case they’re the sort who only opens up slots on demand. this kind of thing we won’t really know until it’s time to book, kan. but he was a bit reluctant to call and decided to leave it to fate. mmkay.

then I also suggested — so much for not being queen control eh! — that he logs in at 12am sharp. but then I also did wonder out loud if it’s really necessary to do so, and if it’s just a BTB blogger thing to be so *prompt* in registering. so again he dismissed my idea and said he would register later in the day instead. so again I was like mmkay, tak boleh paksa kan? any more pressure and he might snap and ask me to do the registration myself. I dowan!

so then this boy logged in at 1.03am…and had some trouble booking Kadi Hassan for 11am! he whatsapped and called me but I was like half asleep plus I’ve never seen the portal so I also couldn’t be much help lol. I might have irritated him, even.

“I don’t see 11am, only 10am and 12pm!”
“ha….someone booked him already?”
“maybe they do two hour blocks”
“but there are people who get married at 11am!”
“ah uztaz ismail is available at 11am”
“ah then book him lah” [secretly very happy, cos Uzt Ismail is my first choice] *goes back to sleep*

later I had nightmares about not being able to register our marriage application, yunno. apparently the odd hour bookings eg 9am, 11am were not available for a lot of the kadis :/ not sure why, could 11am be a super popular nikah time?

in the end, we got Uztaz Ismail. yay alhamdulilah 🙂 I’m mighty pleased, hehe. hope everything goes smoothly and as planned, insyaAllah.

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our kadi (insyaAllah) in action

p.s. Tampines can be the unofficial Kadi Town. quite a lot of kadis live there, including ours. halal high 5!

p.p.s I always thought it was cincin “belian” and not “beRlian”! think we Malays gotta start rrrolling our Rs so the uninitiated such as myself know that it’s cincin berrrlian and not beli-an!

p.p.p.s the ROMM website “works best” in IE, but you can still use other browsers, as ninja groom did.

just a little bit of wedding programme drama

hello! so konon-konon I took a break from wedding planning because we met some obstacles wrt our wedding programme. thankfully all is good now. basically ninja groom’s venue and reception timing went back to the drawing board for discussion, which then caused some uncertainties. my parents and I even discussed possibly combining receptions, which is a bit of a surprise because I’ve always been in the separate receptions camp. although the final decision was to stick with separate receptions, it was a good exercise la to stay open to ideas and be prepared to take a different approach if necessary.

earlier this year when we dealt with similar uncertainties wrt our wedding date, I was super emotionally invested. so this time I was prepared to let go and try my best to be all chill about it, even though I had certain interests that I so badly wanted to protect. I began to reflect about the many things that I get to have my way and tried to tell myself that I need to learn to give in to others. maklum lah kita ni last child kan…sorry kakak-kakak, don’t rasa menyampah ok! the other lesson I learnt was to respect boundaries and not impose too much on his reception, since it’s his family’s majlis. it’s hard because as the pengantin, we have a huge stake, but really the decisions are only for us to follow and respect. for me this whole bertolak ansur and compromising is one of the hardest things about planning a wedding :/ a lot of things are subjective and often there’s no right or wrong…so boleh pening kepala!

but alhamdulilah, in the end it was decided that the timing sticks to status quo, which is good news for me. the downside is that venue will be at the void deck, whereas ninja groom had wanted to be adventurous in holding an open air/high ceiling reception at the badminton court or basketball court so that he could realise his ideal wedding decor concept.

since we were on the topic of re-planning our prog, I also got his agreement to wear something more evening-ish during his reception, instead of the songket that he initially wanted to wear, so yay 😀

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masyaAllah I thought this was so refreshing and preetz! credits to inspirasi perkahwinan

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the same magazine spread also had this. I mockingly showed this pic to ninja groom, who mockingly gave me a comeback. siapa nak teka?

for now, I wish that I had a workflow/timeline for my bridal stuff. macam tak sabar want to pick my outfits and explore the designer collections that my mak andam can bring in – assuming it’s within my budget – but I really have no idea if I’m supposed to contact them to arrange the apmt, or they will allocate me a slot, or which month I can expect for this to happen, if I’m supposed to give a heads up if I’m looking at possibly customising… help! we are almost 6 months away so time to dig up the contracts signed earlier and get things into motion..!