first trimester shenanigans
1. Wore a maxi skirt to work last week and my tummy did not like the tight elastic waistband at all 😦 I’m in super early days and my body is already sending out signals!
2. Feeling extra snarky these days. Have to talk myself out of making too many mean comments.
3. Also feeling extra lazy these days. Like I can sit and stare on my prayer mat for a long time before getting up to pray some more.
4. Can’t stand the smell of my office toilet. There’s always been poor ventilation, and my heightened sense of smell really cannot take it. I usually try to move slowly so I don’t have to overbreathe the air.
5. Granted I just returned from a BBQ where I ate a lot, but I feel like I’m starting to see the beginnings of a bump..! Last time during my birth class, there was a second-time mum whose bump looked 16-week ish to me. I was shocked to learn she was only in her first trimester @ 12 weeks. Guess now could be my turn to start showing earlier 🤷🏻♀️ Anyway, I still don’t know how far along I am. We visited the polyclinic a week ago, and are still waiting for NUH to call me back with an appointment. We’re trying out the subsidised route this time. I already have an apmt with Dr C, but that’s not until January you guys. I called in June!! That means a 6-7 month waiting period. I really should have called to book a “blind” appointment earlier this year. Hai.
6. Every meal and drink feels like a gamble. Will it cause me discomfort and queasiness? Meh.
7. Also not liking my heightened sensitivity to smells. I don’t even like the smell of Watermelon’s Kodomo and J&J soaps! Smells too synthetic wth
8. “It’s ok… just breathe. Breaaaatheeee.” – me talking myself out of puking as a result of fatigue after cleaning up the house at 1.00am. We had hosted guests that day.
9. Apples. This pregnancy I live for apples. One a day; two if I can afford it.
10. I have been SO BAD with drinking plain water. Used to drink a lot but now I’m like blecccch 😦 Plus drinking water sometimes makes me want to puke the water + last meal back out. Horrible horrible horrible.
11. God I hate these pants. And these are my favourite work pants. I have like 4 pairs of these. By mid-day I feel like my waist is being strangled in them. Argh. Is it I must wear jubah and abayas only?
12. Perhaps the solution was already obvious, but I finally figured out that I can simply lower down my pants zipper (at the back) so it’s less uncomfy. #halfmast
13. Smells I hate: still air, espesh after returning to an empty house. Need. Ventilation. And also the smell of my eczema cream. Problem wey.
14. Had our first check up at NUH last week! It was quite pleasant and fast. We were a little late coz we took time to locate the new car park at the dental health building, and then had to wait for a lot. Thankfully the queue number quickly jumped to ours, yay. Baby is about 9 weeks at time of scan. You can already make out the head shape and see its stubby limbs. Due for a dating scan at the Fetal Care Centre in next few weeks!
15. Every day decisions. Look at toilet bowl, decide if I want to purge. I’ve puked twice so far, and since then I feel like I can taste the vomit in my throat. Not pleasant.
16. My sister commented that I’m already showing (at 9 weeks). I patted my tummy and said defensively, “maybe this is my roasted chicken noodle lunch”. “It’s not just your tummy,” she clarified. “Your butt, it looks bigger. Since morning.”
17. Perangai Pregnancy (PP): Ironed two of husband’s shirts and decided I was done. Time to fry eggs because I was hungry. (After that I resumed ironing la haha but srsly, my threshold 😅😂)
18. One of my old habits that I’ve been neglecting, which I blame on pregnancy, is my monthly tracking of expenditures. Have just been SO malas.
19. About 11 weeks now, and so far the only people who officially know are our families and one mummy friend. For my first pregnancy, I think a lot more friends and colleagues knew by now. I’m trying out the whole pantang, tell people after first trimester thing. Quite excited to tell my colleagues tho, closer to my last day at work. And took me a while to figure out that I’d best tell my manager first, out of courtesy/respect to our close relationship.
20. I seem to like food this pregnancy, but I get scared to eat too much because my tummy often doesn’t feel good. And I’m left with strong after tastes which kinda steals the joy from eating.
21. Isya’ prayers have felt soooo heavy lately. So my new pattern is to pray middle of the night since I usually wake up to pee (apparently as my toddler learns to STTN, I have yet to relearn it.) Preachers, don’t come at me: I know praying in a timely fashion is best etc etc but the fatigue in my body past 8pm is cray cray.
22. I heard Watermelon fall off our bed last night and cry, but I lay there silently and instead waited for NG to attend to her. Because #PP
second trimester partayyy
23. Second time to Clinic G, and second time bumping into someone I know. Lol! So much for keeping this pregnancy under wraps. We had our detailed scan — masyaAllah Chickpea has elbows and knees, you guys! Which means his/her limbs are no longer short stubs. Also Chickpea’s EDD got moved a week forward, which means I’m safely into second trimester now, alhamdulillah!
24. On my last day of work, a kakak colleague congratulated me on my pregnancy. My jaw dropped — how did she know??!! “Alah tengok muka you je dah tahu” Huh?? Apparently my Malay colleagues had been discussing whether I was preggers or not. Lol. The first tell-tale sign, I was told, was the photo taken on our Hari Raya Aidilfitri lunch. I went to dig it up from four weeks ago. OH..my god. Yeah I can totally see why. Although I wore a fancy kurung (non-nursing friendly, yes laaa finally!) and a fancy tudung (Duck snood, fancy by my standards), there was no escaping that my face looked super pale and I had these huge eye bags to boot. Definitely looked horrible — and not normal by my standards I hope?!
25. I got rage-y at Watermelon yesterday. Can I blame my pregnancy for my poor behaviour? When Watermelon gets so clingy and needy, my head tells me she wants to connect. But my heart asks, “So? I don’t want to.” Anyway, I think I got easily triggered yesterday due to my underlying fears are that (i) I won’t be able to cope with two young kids and that (ii) Chickpea won’t be an easy baby. Going by the observations that “no two siblings are the same” and “life if fair”, I wonder if baby no 2 will be high needs and challenging since baby no 1 was relatively easy. I reaaally hope not, but I also dare not be naive and overconfident about my mothering abilities. I hope fourth trimester will be smooth, and that I won’t lose my sh*t in this house and break somebody’s keyboard…..
26. me: Watermelon, where is the baby?
w: At home.
me: Is it a boy or girl?
me: Is it a girl or boy? (coz sometimes she just echoes the first option)
me to NG: Abah, ask her!
NG: Watermelon, where is the baby?
w: (seeing cheese in his hand) I want to eat cheese.
27. Week 18 and I can start to feel Chickpea moving! At first it’s random bubbly sensations, but as the week progressed, I started feeling more definite movements. Alhamdulillah, feels good to know he* is active. (*I’m going along with Watermelon’s prediction since I still have no instinct on gender, unlike the first pregnancy.)
28. Another pregnancy sensitivity: people’s bad breath. Espesh when they cough in the train 😷
29. Okay but in general, pregnancy has been quite swell alhamdulillah. I feel pretty normal, almost like not pregnant at all. Second trimester is so good!
30. Next scan is this coming Monday insyaAllah, and if Chickpea cooperates, we can confirm his gender. Excited! Chickpea was a bit shy the last scan — he was facing downwards and I had to cough and turn left and turn right so that the sonographer could get the measurements she needed.
31. Ok last entry for this series – I’ve hired my doulas! We’re supposed to attend birth classes again (zzz) and do birth walks together but they seem to think we still have time before we should start so oookay. I still get nervous thinking about experience labour again. I’m hoping for a shorter labour (don’t we all) and a gentle and easy birth just like with Watermelon. And this time using hypnobirthing? InsyaAllah! Meanwhile, I need to be more disciplined with cutting out sugar so I don’t test positive for gestational diabetes or GBS. Doakan please!