keeping up with this changing life

hola! it’s been 3 months of being a working mum — oh wow, how time flies. it really does get easier with time, though the hard times were genuinely tough at that point in time.

some things have become so natural, like heading home straight. it’s not even a thought anymore about how sad it is that i can’t singgah shops at say, Bedok Mall on the way home. i’ve found a regular grab hitch driver that i engage maybe 1-3x a week. we chat a lot during the drive home, so it’s really nice.

pumping is also a tad better now. i generally have a better yield after a hearty meal although i don’t take chances and have some milk boosters at my desk. for now i’m relying on @mamalait’s brownies and Milo with oats, brown rice wheat and barley. i still have one pack of cookies from my earlier order from another baker but to be honest i’m dreading eating them because they’re bitter πŸ™Š i also have @bymommadee’s nursing aid and mother’s milk supplements, but i’ve not been actively using these two recently. heh.

i think it was last month that i panicked about my pumping output and my freezer stash that i went all out to boost my supply, including a weekend power pump routine. i also sought donations of frozen breastmilk from friends so now my freezer stash is bigger, and i’m less stressed about my yield at work and about leaving Watermelon with other caregivers during weekends. on one hand i often wanted a short break of me-time, on the other hand i didn’t want my freezer stash to run out. but all that isn’t an issue … for now, alhamdulillah. though i really should pump in replacement for the frozen milk offered, eeps. been really lazy, especially after receiving the treasure trove of milk 😬

other than that … Watermelon sleeps very late every night, and i’m trying to shift her bedtime earlier. it’s a little stressful talking to other mums about this, tbh. often have to remind myself to keep an open mind, and to consider our family’s arrangements and what works best for us. i’ve also had on-off success getting her to sleep in the cot again. maybe after my current peak period is over, i’ll have more energy to insist on cradle position for night feeds.

we’ve started bathing her without a tub! life is 10x easier once baby can sit up. key differences are that we can put her in high chairs in restaurants, and i can sit her somewhere while i prep my wrap when we’re outside, which was something i couldn’t really do comfortably when she was smaller.

on eating solids, she’s now better at feeding herself yay. but she’s still in the palmar grip days, so small and short stuff, she can’t quite handle yet. i wish i had more time and energy to let her explore more food, but urgh sometimes i’m just too tired after work or during weekends πŸ˜”

oh and back to work stuff — i’m trying not to bring home work, even if my plate is piling and there’s a gazillion things to do. i figured that there’s no point in working late into the night + having to wake up for night feeds + having to wake up early for work so that i can knock off early and fetch Watermelon. i might as well use the evening to recharge and spend time with her while she is what she is — a 6 month old, a 10 month old, a toddler. but again, it’s only been 3 months of this so i really hope to be able to keep this up for the long term. most importantly i want to remember to choose motherhood over career. so that i don’t get too emotionally invested over promotion issues and then turn negative and unmotivated if i get passed up.

that said, i’m thinking of changing jobs next year. part of me feels like it’s a crazy thing to do, rocking the boat when i already have a supportive team and good hours, but another part of me really wants to move on. so hopefully there’ll be some cool vacancies around the time that i’m planning to leave *cough after bonus cough*. deep down my dream is to run my own business or work from home, but i don’t have any ideas on how to get there, for now. this might sound idealistic, but i think i would love to have time on weekdays going playground hopping and organising play dates when Watermelon’s a preschooler, insyaallah.

let’s see how things go…

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2 thoughts on “keeping up with this changing life

    • yeahhh it would be nice to have a little bit of both worlds, though i’m sure the WAHM life comes with its fair challenges from having the lines blurred too. but i hope to try it for myself some day!

      it was a senior colleague who told me she regrets bringing work home and ignoring her daughter’s calls to play. until her daughter grew up and stopped asking her to play, and now it’s the other way around where she’s asking her 19yo girl to hang out together πŸ˜” hoping to benefit from her hindsight!

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