baby steps towards bigger things

I don’t know what third trimester is like, but people say second trimester is the “golden trimester” and I gotta say alhamdulillah I’m loving it 😊 I’m more energetic, feel more like myself, and feel (more?) positive and excited about being on this journey.

I still throw up about once a week, usually around the turn of my weekly cycle, but I can live with it. In fact I find my body cute. You know why? Dia dah pandai memilih. For example: one night I ate grapes followed by peach. Previously I would throw up what I last ate, but this time my body somehow saved the peach and ejected only the grapes. 👏🏻👏🏻.

But anyways! Here are some of the exciting pregnancy and/or parenting milestones that we’ve achieved:

1. enrolling in birthing classes

I enrolled NG and me in two classes: Amani Birth Classes and Parentlink’s Child Antenatal Programme.

Amani Birth is an Islamic childbirth education. Their goal is to teach trust in Allah swt and that birth is a form of worship. Their basic premise is that birth is a natural life event, is inherently safe, and women should be empowered during their births. There are a couple of Malay-Muslim instructors in Singapore conducting this course. We’re with Kak Fadillah Yusope from Birth Maia. It’s 5 x 4hr sessions. InsyaAllah will share a course review when we’re done 😄

ParentLink’s classes, on the other hand, are only 3 x 3hr sessions. The first one is on the physiology of labour, the second on breastfeeding and part 1 of the Dunstan Baby Language, and third on part 2 and parenting scenarios. Quite excited for this to start!

Anyway yeah I’m quite semangat in enrolling us in two different courses. But yes judging from how we went for two pre-marriage preparation courses, I am quite the course junkie. Hee. Can’t help it!

2. engaging a doula

The first time I heard about engaging a doula was from another couple during a gathering last year. They had paid a little extra to engage one for their first pregnancy and said they had a good experience. This didn’t cross my mind until another friend asked me if I was going to. She was moved by her friend’s doula-accompanied birth story which was so positive, so gentle, and in humble remembrance of Allah (I went to read it too because I was super kpo). In my mind, doula fees were $2-3k which I thought were kinda steep. However, I went ahead to research and found that they’re actually about high ratusan to about $1.5k depending on what packages you take, which is a liiittle better lah.

So after reading positive birthing stories from Amani Birth and hypnobirthing students (another form of childbirth education that is pro-natural and focuses on relaxation for a positive birth experience), I decided that I wanted to go down that route as well. Sooo we’ve decided to engage Kak Fad after reading super glowing reviews by her clients. We don’t start our prenatal sessions until end of the year though, insyaAllah.

3. touring an infantcare

Ahh, the issue of childcare. Before even trying to conceive, this was something I was already worrying about. There doesn’t seem to be a perfect solution does it 😦

I’ve always been leaning towards infantcare, despite having some well-meaning friends warn that I eventually may not have the heart to leave my baby behind in a centre. Unfortch getting either our mums to help take care is not quite an option unless we get a helper — because both are already taking care of our sisters’ kids — and I’m not keen on getting a helper hee.

So anyways, I searched online and found a private/NGO-run infantcare near ish our place. We dropped by for a visit and it seems pretty pleasant. So we’re on the waiting list. The lady said she’ll update me if there’s a vacancy for the month I’m looking at. Hope it goes smoothly! Which brings me to the next development…

4. getting my maternity leave extended!

To be specific, my bosses agreed to let me go on no pay leave for 2 months, alhamdulillah  🙂 My manager discussed with my director about how it’ll be good to support my request since NG and I are first time parents and child care arrangements may change when the time really comes. Felt very thankful for understanding bosses ❤️

Though honestly my main concern was Ramadhan which falls in June next year. I heard that fasting while breastfeeding is another type of challenge, and this is the first year that we’re staying on our own so it could be a steep learning curve, idk yet. Didn’t want June to be extra overwhelming with the added adjustments of returning to work and being apart from the baby and testing our child care arrangements, so I’m super glad they’re letting me return to work around first week of Raya. Phewww.

I’ve also worked out my new monthly budget, taking my salary x 4 months but divided by 6 months. Also figured out that my HDB monthly instalments for the two months should be covered by my bonus contributions insyaAllah.

Now I just hope HR will let them hire a temp to relief me or it’ll be quite shiong for my team coz their top sai kang warrior is not around. Haa.

5. buying maternity insurance for me

Ok la not a milestone per se, but a pretty big ticket item on our list. NG got me Great Eastern’s Flexi Maternity Cover for pregnancy complications and insurance coverage for congenital diseases our child until she’s 3 years old. It’s a one-time payment – a bit hefty because he chose the higher tier – but it’s a standalone product that doesn’t require parents to commit to life plans for our child. Though I really hope it’s not a product we have to tap on, na’uzubillah 😔

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2 thoughts on “baby steps towards bigger things

  1. Yay congrats on the extended maternity leave! I loved being home with the baby but I must say it wasn’t as “perfect” as I imagined when I pregnant lol, cos there were hard part and sometimes just mind-numbing haha, but personally I feel it really helps with breastfeeding 🙂

    • haha yesss I was glad to have secured it. though I’m part worried what my appraisal will look like for 2017 :p I guess it’s a small sacrifice that won’t mean much in the long term.

      I heard that maternity leave can be a lil boring! And that you miss talking to adults. Hopefully Ramadhan will keep me occupied with fasting and meal and raya preps…

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