hello, you!

28 Jul 2016

the six weeks to my wedding may have flown by quickly, but my gosh the six weeks to our 12 week scan crawled by! I had to endure so many work events in the meanwhile! on top of that I had to postpone the appointment by a week coz NG’s on reservist and couldn’t get leave on our original appointment date. the excitement I had yesterday was akin to the feeling of leaving for Changi airport to fly off for a holiday seh.

we only met the sonographer, not the gynae. when I was lying down, with my tummy already exposed, I suddenly asked her “er, this is not for the Down syndrome test right? coz we’d like to opt out.”

“oh is it? the test is optional right? ok let me go out and confirm”. phew! just in the nick of time. otherwise we would have to pay $100 extra 😅

after she returned, we continued to do the normal scan. it took a (short) while for me to get used to the pressure on my tummy but waahhh to see our 13 week old foetus was so so amazing! subhanAllah, there’s nothing more wondrous to me than to see the foetus evolve from a 0.6cm pea (at our 6 weeks scan) to a 7cm baby-like figure.

it looked really active, bouncing and moving about in a tight cavity, also looked like its right hand was waving at us! awwwwwwwww. though the more likely explanation is probably that aunty sonographer was poking my womb quite hard with her ultrasound thingie hence all the movements. wallahualam :’) I was so touched that I teared hee. I thought I caught a glimpse of its spine and brain(s) too. wowowow. really loved the experience, alhamdulillah. can’t wait for moar!

so anyways, I think I feel slightly more energetic now that I’m nearing second trimester, though the throwing up is still happening. perhaps even worse :/

as you may have observed, each sub-entry must come with a mention of my most memorable vomit story since the last, kan? today’s is about the other time when I puked in public(!) we were walking home after having dinner at a nearby coffee shop when it happened. I didn’t have anything on me other than my wallet, phone and key (which I faithfully clutched while purging the dinner I juuust ate) so I had to have a go at the grass patch in my ‘hood. 😕

in fact, after the first bout, I still had the cheek to tell NG that the lychee drink “still tasted sweet!” we walked 10m before I realised I wasn’t done, so I let go the rest at a different grass patch. whoops. I saw an apek observing me as he lepak-ed on a bench… so paiseh please. 

one key insight gained is that I can’t stay up late (ie past midnight) or I will puke. apparently my stomach has strict operating hours. twice I slept late because I was packing orders. when I wanted to sleep, I felt my body being overtaken by a huge sense of fatigue and then the fountain works started. last weekend we stayed out late for raya. by 12am I was starting to get fidgety, scared that I would throw up while at a friend’s house or in the car on the way home with them. I held on OK until it was 1am. dia kasi chance sikit. heh. dulu sebelum kahwin, mak bapak kasi curfew. now pregnant also got curfew! fuh. now that I know this, I make it a point to sleep early – sometimes even comically rushing macam lah I’m Cinderella – though sometimes I naturally crash in bed cos I’m toooo tired.

also, I suspect my baby is a girl. actually more like really hope for lah. my layman theory is 1) my face has been breaking out baaad and 2) I can’t stand the masculine smell of NG’s cologne and facial wash and aftershave urgh. on 1), there’s that saying that if you’re pregnant with a boy, you’ll be glowing, and if you’re pregnant with a girl, it’s the opposite kan? dunno whether true or not lah. the pimples are freaking stubborn and i have basically given up. all that obsession on The Regimen and korean facial products gone to waste.

Islamic Hadith says that gender is determined at around 40 days (~6 weeks) but we only find out in 5th month, so we shall see whether I’m right!

3 Aug 2016

it’s easy to notice when new symptoms set in, but sometimes hard to notice when they stop. here are three symptoms I say a belated goodbye to:

1. morning sickness

yeah! my first day of MS-free day was … first day of raya yeay yeay. I was initially expecting myself to be very cranks that day, but alhamdulillah nausea spared me so I was able to flit from house to house relatively cheerfully.

I was abt 10-11 weeks then, and didn’t feel comfy telling those whom mama kraken had not already broadcasted to. mothers! an aunt on my paternal side did however ask me when I’m going to have a baby. “your cousin so and so dah ada anak. so and so pun ada anak. when’s your turn? I am waiting.”

fuh, I am waiting seh! I gave a tight smile towards the watermelons I was scooping (tengah obsession masa tu) and said “I … will let you know.”

when morning sickness is gone, it sure feels like the fog has lifted. although I didn’t kena the wau yuck MS-vomit a second time — ALHAMDULILLAH — the nausea alone is uncomfortable and quite the mood spoiler.

p.s. if you ever want to wish badly for another lady you just have to wish her a bad bout of morning sickness though I’m not saying you should curse anybody in the first place ya …

p.p.s when I was absent during a jalan raya with my dad’s side, my niece helpfully announced that I was due for an ultrasound scan in the coming week and that I was still in my PJs when she left my parents’ house that early afternoon … 😒

2. vivid dreams

I was amused when my then-pregnant colleague told me that she was having lots of vivid dreams and that it’s common for pregnant women to experience this. macam wow, interesting or what.

I assumed that vivid = scary, but actually it’s not. in my vivid dreams, I could see details right down to the handwriting on documents. the imagery feels stronger and more convincing. I only realised last night that I haven’t been having such dreams for past few nights. not sure whether it’s coz I’ve been extra tired or coz the vivid dream train has left me behind now that I’m in second tri (alhamdulillah, btw!)

my most memorable dream was the one where I gave birth and resumed work the next day and then forgot I had a newborn baby at home. labour in my dream was quick, painless, with no need for recovery. ha…ha. I woke up feeling disappointed that firstly, there is no baby (yet) and secondly, we still have a long way to go…! insyaAllah we will get there. doakan please!

3. blues

um so I haven’t mentioned this to anyone, not even NG, but I know I felt the blues (albeit mildly) and didn’t want to acknowledge it. mostly because I was afraid of coming across as ungrateful, espesh when I know there are women out there waiting patiently for their turns to conceive. the truth is that sometimes the feeling *was* very, very close to ungratefulness :/ I wished to go back to how things were — to be able to enjoy my (expensive) holiday instead of counting down to going home; to not feel so queasy or tired all the time; and to not have these potent, incurable breakouts on my face; and to recognise my body again.

I don’t know if the blues will come back before I give birth, but I know I’m in a better place now. the other day my friend was so happy for us that she offered me a hug. seeing her excitement for my baby instinctively made me say “alhamdulillah” as i hugged her back, but I remember that moment dearly because it was the first time in two months that I truly and sincerely meant it 😔

23 Aug 2016

I saved this update for my 16 weeks apmt coz I thought we would be doing another scan. turns out doctor said no need, since we already scanned 3 weeks ago. was a teeny disappointed at first, then thought “well, at least we save money.” hur hur.

then she listened to the baby’s heartbeat.

“your baby’s heartbeat is 135, which is normal,” she said, beaming assuredly.

I guess end of the day, it’s more than enough to know everything’s ok.

I’ve stopped writing about the pregnancy for a while now because … thinking about it sometimes makes me nauseated! as funny as it sounds. I wondered if it’s my balasan for glorifying my merlion tales previously, so I decided better to keep quiet for now. the frequency has gone down to about once per week, which is a good improvement. I didn’t even get to tell my doctor about my vomitting, but a friend pointed out that they’re probably not interested. in the grand scheme of things, vomitting is a small issue (unless you get to the point of dehydration, of cos).

our next apmt will be in late Sep insyaAllah. will be doing the OGTT (blood test for gestational diabetes, if I’m not wrong) and a detailed scan. can’t wait to confirm baby’s gender! and then full blown shopping can commence hehhh.

till then, it’s watching my bump grow, missing sushi and half-boiled eggs, and letting myself enjoy the second trimester. oh ya, and playing Pokemon Go. gotta catch em all!

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