10 Jun 2016
my sense of smell typically isn’t strong. once I was standing in front of a rubbish collection chute with a friend. suddenly he took a step back. 5 seconds later, a really strong stench of rotten food hit me. THEN I stepped back. lol delayed reaction much.
for this reason I have never complained about those aircon eateries which make your clothes smell simply because … it didn’t bother me. I cannot smell mah. haha. I also can’t memorise how NG’s cologne smells, much less recognise when somebody who wears the same scent passes by me in the streets.
howeverrr, being preggers has opened a new world to me. now I can smell. no wonder you people like to complain about smells. I had to hold my breath while walking past an aircon eatery in the MRT exchange (my disgust probably made worse because I was fasting). another time I covered my nose after NG walked into our room after having sprayed on some fresh cologne (sorry!). and the other day I dumped the bag of Argan oil we had bought from Morocco far from my bedside because I suddenly couldn’t stand the smell (padahal I was applying it on my dry skin the week before). my office toilet suddenly smells intolerably bad. aaand I cannot stand the smell of my innisfree sunblock. but this one I’d endure cos sunblock is that important to me. still, it’s tragic to not like the smell of your own face!
other curious happenings:
1. i can’t descend the stairs to my void deck at my usual speed or I’ll feel light-headed.
2. I can’t play Disney Tsum Tsum much anymore coz the burst animation makes me pening. I suppose it’s a hikmah, but dayyum I do like the treats they’re currently giving as part of their current Star Wars special. haha #priorities
3. I apologised to NG for “not being present”. Often times when I’m with him, I’ll space out and make whimpering noises to myself over the nausea and discomfort, pretty much ignoring him.
oh well, nothing worth having ever comes easy. jiayou to me … *insert lame fist pump*
12 Jun 2016
yesterday was the long awaited day: our first appointment with the gynae! NG and I got a little lost around and at the place; very suaku. we were also taken aback by how posh the clinic looked, lol.
the gynae tried to do an abdominal scan but couldn’t detect anything, so she had to use a vaginal transducer 😣 I was so nervous please. luckily she was gentle and helped me to relax which made the sensation less uncomfortable.
the foetus is even younger than I thought 😦 I was hoping to be ~8 weeks which is already a downgrade from ~10 weeks if calculating solely from the first day of my last period. however she measured our little blob and determined that it’s 6 weeks 5 days old. argh! I’m only just a little halfway through first tri. my EDD is pushed later in January, which is good news to me cos I’d rather a 2017 baby than a 2016, if possible.
the foetus is still a teeny tiny 6mm which made me think “huh then this buncit is what … me ah?” 😂
we set the dates for the next two appointments. she prescribed me multivits, calcium, fish oil (these are for week 12 onwards), folic acid and anti-nausea pills. she said multivits and calcium should only be taken from week 11. that GP!!! I’m going to kill him. no wonder I felt soooo uncomfortable after eating the calcium and multivits tabs. urgh.
also, I had my first … taste … of acid reflux the other night. it came fast and furious and left me so traumatised for rest of the night and next morning (my stomach still churned). urgh. when I read up about it after it had happened, I realised I had committed a few booboos: I ate late into the night (12.30am after waking up from my nap), I drank milk, and I had my multivit on a relatively empty stomach. sigh.
24 Jun 2016
NG’s pregnant too! he told me that he’s been strangely feeling very hungry around 12-1pm (something that i experienced in early Ramadhan) and has been going to the toilet a lot. haha. apparently there is such a thing called “couvade symptoms”, where an expectant mummy’s partner can experience “symptoms that uncannily mimic pregnancy”. this is thought to be due to stress and/or empathy.
…pregnancy is often stressful for both parties. add a little empathy to the mix, and you have a perfect recipe for couvade.
on to less humourous news, acid reflux hit me a few more times since my last update. and while i thought my first 2 episodes of vomitting since confirming the pregnancy were caused by morning sickness, i experienced the real thing two days ago and i only have two monosyllabic words: WAU. YUCK.
ok back peddle a bit. something i learnt from wife friend (who learnt from her mum and aunt): morning sickness vomit tends to be yellow and bitter, while acid reflux vomit is basically whatever you ate in the last 5-15 mins. *it will be recognisable … and you can taste it again on its way out*
so the morning when i kena the full blown morning sickness, i was shocked by the horrible, lingering smell. it’s baaaad. especially if you didn’t manage to aim properly. (like me) and the after taste that lasted for hours … both vile and evil.
i’ve been pondering a lot about vomit lately, as strange as it sounds. at first i thought to myself, i must better understand my acid reflux so i can avoid it! but after 5 episodes or so, i can’t draw any patterns. so far suspected reasons would be: drank milk on empty stomach; food too spicy; drank vitagen after eating spicy food; ate too fast; ate too much.
let’s see how the list grows. also, i’m starting to affectionately refer to these for -now-secret updates as the Vomit Diaries. you know, macam Vampire Diaries tapi bukan.
10 Jul 2016
selamat hari raya! at the risk of sounding like a setan, I felt half relieved when fasting month ended. but then I realised that full time eating isn’t necessarily going to be easier. what if I throw up my lunch during weekdays? urgh. the office toilet is a minute’s walk from my desk (as opposed to a 10 second dash at home), it smells funny, and the cubicles don’t come with water hoses. so if I accidentally make a mess … good luck to me man. at home, NG placed a pail by my bedside, but I don’t suppose I can have a puke pail by my office desk? lulz.
one reason for my relief is that there were a few nights where I vomitted my buka. which meant my only nutrition for that day came from sahur my healthcare-industry friend told me not to worry, that my body knows what it’s doing. well, I suppose. I realise I haven’t felt faint or dehydrated on those nights so somehow, things are balancing out by themselves in my body. masyaAllah.
actually, being pregnant during ramadhan wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. mama kraken gave me a pep talk early into the month. she said she’d fasted while being pregnant with all 3 of us. with my sister, she was late into her pregnancy and yet she still insisted on fasting despite comments from other people. so that gave me assurance and motivation to trust in Allah swt that everything would be okay, insyaAllah. if we fast sincerely for Him, then insyaAllah He will take care of and reward us.
in terms of ibadah, I didn’t get to accomplish as much as I would have loved to. but I believe that Islam is a merciful and understanding religion, so I didn’t take it too hard on myself. heh. though I suppose once we have kids in tow, our expression of ibadah will change too… so this is only the start eh.
I also expected my colleagues to object when they found out that I’m pregnant + fasting, but alhamdulillah they didn’t, although they looked a little concerned. speaking of which, I wanted to tell them when I hit 12 weeks, but ended up telling my manager at 9 weeks after some slight pressure. think they could tell that I was looking extra tired, sickly, and generally less chirpy than usual. she then told my boss and then the rest of the team on a day when I wasn’t in office. hmm. I’d imagined myself breaking the exciting news personally to my colleagues instead of how it really panned out — like a cold HR announcement — but ok lah whatever. i also learn about my colleagues’ personal circumstances thru my manager too so I guess it’s just the way the team runs.
anyway, can I share just oooone vomit story? you should skip if you feel grossed out. so here goes: when McDonald’s launched their salt and pepper crab fries last week I was so so SO excited to try them. the night after eating macs, I ended up vomitting in my trusty pail. (oh yeah, the new trend is for me to puke about 2-3h after eating, as opposed to the previous 10-15 min.) NG was burying his face in our pillows coz he said the “McDonald’s smell” was very strong. lol. as for me, it felt like the pepper inside the pail was tickling my nose and mildly made me want to sneeze. lulzzz. I would still go back to eat macs and the fries though! and especially coz McDonald’s ice lemon tea is suddenly my favourite, favourite drink ever. heh.
honestly my latest struggle is finding water that is palatable to me. #firstworldproblems for me, dasani wins ice mountain hands down. and I get scared to drink too much plain water at night — even when my throat feels dry — coz it has ever happened that the water went down my tummy and called out to the semi digested food to say “jom, I know a way out! we can escape from where I came down,” terus whooooosh. goodbye my buka.