digging up an old fear

my first and last birthday party was my 5th. it was a cool party (by my five year old standards) where i had lots of balloons and party games to keep my cousins and neighbours entertained. i got to wear a nice baby blue dress and the group photo that we took that day of all the kids at the party remains to be one of the highlights from my childhood photo album.

but i digress.

growing up, one of the biggest fears in my life was to hold a birthday party … and have nobody show up. “rubbish!” a friend once told me. “of course people will turn up.” well, i never did find out because i never went to organise one. the excuse i gave myself is that birthday parties involve too much logistics, and i didn’t want to trouble my family. (yeah…right.)

i got reminded of this because after i sent my first two Facebook messages to invite people to my wedding and ask for their mailing addresses, i felt scared. scared that they won’t reply. scared that they’ll pretend not to see my message. (i did that once to an ex-colleague’s wedding a few years back… silly me 😦 don’t ever do that! at least come up with a legit[sounding] excuse) scared that everyone will say no, sorry, can’t make it. haha. and i recognised the fear to come from the same place that never desired to throw a birthday party for myself.

i feel really silly because i should have more confidence in myself, but this is the truth. stripped down bare. heh.

anyway, i told myself to start off the whole invitation process with a big, fat, BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHIM. because i know from my own experience that inviting people to your wedding isn’t as simple as asking for addresses and sending out or passing them cards. there are soooo many ways a guest can be offended. personally, my number one pet peeve is late invites. once i have to cancel my weekend plans (and sometimes bubble other people) for a friend’s late notice wedding, i get pissed. but torn, because i DO want to be there for their wedding. i’ve been offended by invites addressed to “ninja groom and partner,” especially this one case where the groom and i were friends FIRST. or even when the host knows my name and i wonder to myself “why did he/she refer to me as ‘partner’???” and then there’s the other scenarios i’ve seen, where my friend goes “wait, he invited you but he didn’t invite ME?” (insert awkward silence) or another friend sorta complains that she didn’t get her own card just because her boyfriend is the bride’s cousin even though you know, she and the bride had been friends for over 10 years. so yeah, macam-macam lah. so here’s to not stepping on anybody’s toes, as far as possible.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

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8 thoughts on “digging up an old fear

  1. I feel u babe..im a bit worried ill be askin for adressess too early haha (takot ppl make june hol plans) bt dnt worry too much. Its ur wedding n tbh u cnt really please everyone. Just do whats within ur capacity.

  2. yeah, it’s a good idea to approach your guests early (2 months?) since yours is in June where people often travel. then if they cannot make it, you could direct the invites to someone else or let your mum invite more of her friends! πŸ™‚

  3. yikes, we share the same fear la haha. but my biggest fear would be that my majlis won’t be as meriah as what my mum wants it to be because of reasons stated above. obviously i think too much kan heh.

  4. OMG I get peeved too when I get referred to as the “partner” or “wife” on a wedding invitation addressed to the husband, especially when these friends of his (I thought they became my friends too over time — apparently not) KNOW me, and KNOW my name. I don’t get it — what does it hurt to write down a name you already know? I was so peeved that when it came to my wedding, I made it a point to find out the names of my friends’ other halves and to get the spelling right by going on to Facebook to do a quick check. Of course my guest list was small so I could afford to do that, but I really can’t think of an excuse for not taking up such an easy opportunity to make a guest feel more welcome.

    Having said that, I suppose you truly can’t please everyone. The key thing is to just try your best. If people still get offended then it’s their problem to deal with, not yours. All the best! πŸ™‚

    • ikr!!! I’ve been stalking people on IG and FB to double check how their names are spelt like. then again, there are invites which don’t even mention “partner”, which then makes me feel bad for dragging my +1 to accompany me. lol. there’s really no pleasing people huh, me included :p

      thanks for your well wishes babe! really hope to get this invite thing as right as possible.

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