a couple of weeks back, ninja groom and I went back to our draft wedding programme to add more details. our biggest breakthrough is that during the break between my reception and his, he will go back to his reception to catch his early guests. meanwhile, I’ll be at my house washing up and re-applying make up. then he fetches me and we march in together.
quite a good idea from him, I must say.
so then, he reminded me to be ready on time that day and I realised that uh oh, I’ll really need a time keeper and a liaison officer (chey) to help coordinate with NG’s groomsmen.
before this, my idea was to have just two pengapit. somehow I prefer the Malay word, cos “bridesmaids” just seem to conjure images of matchy clothes-wearing ladies accompanying the bride. but I digress. back then, my mentality was a) I didn’t want to trouble too many girlfriends from having to accompany me from start to finish. there’s bound to be lulls and I didn’t want them to feel bored at my wedding. and b) I didn’t want to buy them cloth cos then they’ll have to tailor, and I didn’t want to impose on them. as for readymade baju… well, I didn’t really think of that nor set aside the budget :p
so back to being on time for NG’s reception, I thought maybe I should have a small team of bridesmaids after all. plus, NG and I know myself so well. we know that months after the wedding, I’m going to stumble upon a pic of a bride and her beautiful bridesmaids (probably from one of you BTBs?), and then I’m going to turn to NG and whine about how I wish I had bridesmaids at my wedding. and then I’ll regret. and then I will keep whining about it for a few days until I get over myself. haha. hence NG was supportive about me assembling my bridesmaids. I’m the sort who doesn’t have a girl gang (I wish I did!) so instead my close girlfriends come from different circles or life stages. I also figured that it’s a good investment to make in getting them acquainted with each other, cos in future in shaa Allah we might want to host friends at our place: house warming, baby shower(s), birthday parties etc.
I didn’t have any fancy proposals… I just asked them individually lor, if they would like to be my bridesmaid. haha. tak romantic langsung eh. I also asked, out of courtesy, if they would be okay if I bought kain and then they went to find their own tailors. they all said yes, though I gotta concede I wouldn’t know if any of them said yes but thought otherwise in their hearts :p at first I regretted not thinking of bridesmaids earlier, or I could have bought kain during my KL trip in December. but then I remembered that I was heading to Bandung in February, so I could get their kain from there instead. even more exciting!
also, in an earlier entry, i had said that i hope to keep my wedding as least manpower intensive as possible. well, i take it back. i’ve decided that my bridesmaids and siblings will need Real Responsibilities to help keep the wedding run smoothly in the best interests of both my and NG’s guests.
at the famous Pasar Baru in Bandung, mama kraken brought me to a shop called Median (look for Zahra or Eti) on level 2 to buy kain. now, the shop is messy like hell. it’s daaamn crowded with customers and sales assistants, and sometimes you have to walk like you’re on a balance beam: one foot in front of the other, careful not to trample on other people’s feet. you also have no choice but to rempuh gulung-s of kain. and some parts of the shop look like the ancient ruins of…kain. totally inaccessible. buuut after looking at other (more organised but less crowded) shops, I could understand why mama kraken asked me to buy from the chaotic Median. it’s cos the lace from the other shops were of a lower quality… some of them felt rougher and more stiff
the above sums it up. haha. i really wanted gold and green, but after finding nice gold lace, it was hard to find a good matching lining (“puring”, in bahasa). and after finding a nice emerald green (called “hijau botol” in their language… inspired by Heineken agaknye), everyone (mama kraken + my relative + sales assistant 1 + sales assistant 2) gave me looks of doubt. the colours didn’t complement!
AUURRRGHHH. –> kraken war cry
so i went for turqoise-ish mint green-ish powder blue-ish with pink-ish instead. it was v confusing because i initially wanted this mint green lace but it turned out that they didn’t have enough for 5 people, so i had to change and re-pick the lining and kain (as in the skirt). boo.
but still! i really enjoyed kain shopping. when i was young, following my mum go kain shopping was absolute torrrturrreeee. but now, my favourite part of Pasar Baru was the kedai kain. haha! what a makcik i have become. i mean, it’s really like problem solving. you pick a lace. and then you have to find an appropriate lining. and then you pick the kain. and then you stare at it and ponder. then maybe you swap one of the elements. and so it goes on.
and also, when we were there, we started remembering people that we also needed to buy kain for, so our list was like never ending… as was the final bill 😮
some messy pics:
the first bridesmaids meeting
way before my Bandung trip, i already created a Whatsapp group for my bridesmaids. i also used Doodle to arrange a dinner get together, where I could pass them the kain, in advance. so proud of myself for my mini-foresight, if I may say so myself :p I was a bit scared and paiseh lah, cos in a different context, I’m like the group facilitator who’s supposed to get the ball rolling and get the team to bond so that we can achieve our objectives together. alamak, plan my own wedding also must practise my leadership skills. this is getting too serious, guys.
but alhamdulilah, the dinner turned out fine, even though one of them couldn’t make it cos she was sick. it helped that another bridesmaid brought her baby along, so that helped to create conversation and break the ice a little.
so now we’re left to find a tailor who can take our orders, and i also need to scope their responsibilities so that everyone has something meaningful to do and that everything can run smoothly.
a friend X was telling us how she’s going to be a bridesmaid for Bride A, but had to break the news to two other friends Y and Z that A had not chosen them. Y and Z were upset and X couldn’t help but feel stuck in the middle.
this made me realise that who we don’t pick is as important as who we do pick. there may be some friends in the grey area whom we have to properly engage so as not to hurt their feelings. sensitive yo. (I’m learning first hand…)
when NG heard the story, he turned to the other guy friend at the table and retorted “kenapa perempuan susah sangat eh?” heh. so true but we girls really can’t help it!