tailoring my own songkets: part 3

alright so here’s the final instalment of my tailoring my own songkets story. guess what? there’s a twist:

my tailor went missing in action.

with my gorgeous, rusty red kain songket.

and mama kraken’s $300.

we had already passed to him our kain songket and measurements back in Apr 2014, and the plan was to visit him in Feb for final fitting. my mum had also passed her kain for her baju mak pengantin later towards end 2014. in Jan, he first messaged my mum to confirm our trip, and to update that ninja groom’s baju dah siap. then, he messaged again to say that he was facing an emergency, and that he needed 3 million rupiah (about $300). he said that if my mum was able to help him, he would deduct from the duit upah that we needed to pay him anyway. so mama kraken agreed to transfer the money.

after that, he disappeared. in the days leading up to our trip, mama kraken was trying to get in touch with him to confirm that we’ll be meeting him etc. our tailor keeps changing numbers so it was frustrating for her to try contact the right number. she was really stressed about it, repeatedly sighing to herself at home, and saying her dua out loud for Allah swt to let us find him in Bandung. for some reason though, I was calm about it. I told mama kraken that plan B is to just rent from my mak andam the songket outfit (lor). I think it was good to not join my mum in getting stressed, or both of us would just be feeding off each other’s despair and playing victim and getting more upset. macam tak productive ah.

on the morning before we flew off, we got confirmation that our tailor had indeed disappeared. our relative who lives in Bandung had helped to look for him at home, but the house was empty and advertised for sale. when he called the number listed in the ad, it turned out to be the tailor’s recently divorced wife, who also didn’t know about his whereabouts.

when mama kraken broke this news to me, she was calm about it. I think she redha already. I thought it was admirable that she was gracious about it, saying that she sedekah the money to the tailor and that she hopes the money helped lift him from the difficult times that he was facing at that time. ma shaa Allah :’)

and then we flew to Bandung over the CNY weekend

the story didn’t just end there. when we reached Bandung, our first destination was the tailor’s house. I turned to my mum and asked “why are we going there eh?” she said “ye tak ye eh” and turned to our relative and asked why we were headed there -__- but anyway it was decided that since we’re there, we’ll just check it out.

so it was empty, as expected. and here’s where the taichi started. we called ex-wife again to tell her that we reaaaaally only wanted our kain back. she insisted it was not with her, and gave us the tailor’s sister’s number for us to try see if she knows his whereabouts. called sister who said she’s not heard from tailor, and that we should check with ex-wife cos they are still in contact. we also chatted with the neighbours, who threw in more leads (gossip) which confused us further.

the next day, my mum made friends with a makcik at the surau, who suggested she makes a police report against the tailor. so we called the ex-wife to threaten that we’ll report this matter to police — since we have black and white proof of the bank transfer –if the tailor doesn’t return our cloth by the next day. then we also called the sister to relay the same message since we dunno who’s telling the truth. then the two ladies spoke to each other since their words crossed.

only then did things move. ex-wife said oh, kraken’s cloth is with tailor’s friend. I can meet you at outlet mall X and pass it to you. we rushed to said place and waited for a bit, only for her to say that she’ll drop the cloth at my relative’s house the next morning instead. all this time, mama kraken was really hoping her cloth would be found. between two of us, think she wanted her kain more than I did. for me, I gave up already. but for her, she kept saying she “terbayang-bayang” nak kain dia. and how she bought similar cloths for her orang kuat, and the irony is that they will get to wear their kain but she won’t get to wear matching with them. we had already bought her new, nicer kain lace on our first day in Bandung to make a replacement baju tapi nak jugakkk yang hilang tu. (side note: my sis and I don’t quite like the kain that went lost. we’re not sure why mama kraken loves it sooo much :p)

alhamdulilah, ex-wife did return my gorgeous, rusty red kain songket the next morning as promised. she also gave us her side of the story. she brought other kain, but alas, it was not mama kraken’s one. (“baju tu macam untuk dangdut aje,” she told us later privately)

also, ninja groom’s baju was cut but NOT sewn. haish. my share of the kain songket was not cut yet and can be salvaged to turn it into a baju kurung, but his is burnt ah.

so yeah, that’s the end of my tailoring my own songkets story. sayang eh? from two to one to zero… I always imagined coming back from my Bandung trip with exciting pics to share. but I guess it was not meant to be. what a harrowing experience… but at least we tried our best. makes for good wedding drama about 2.5 months to the day, heh.

tapi takpe lah, in shaa Allah with difficulty there is relief πŸ™‚

what to do when you lose money in wedding planning

know that you’re not alone. and that lots of BTBs have lost our deposits, either because they found better deals elsewhere; or it turns out their vendors cannot be trusted; or like mine, disappear. of course we try our best to prevent such things from happening, but once it has already happened, try your best to keep calm and know that sometimes external circumstances are beyond our control. maybe it’s a test from Allah swt. or sometimes He takes away our worldly possessions to help cleanse our wealth, and so that He can replace it with something much, much better. Wallahualam. have faith, and keep strong! πŸ™‚ though I know it’s easier said than done…

and now I wait for my mak andam to contact me on my outfit selection. sigh. feel like asking them again when’s my turn but I don’t want to be *that* bride. hopefully everything goes smoothly, in shaa Allah. ❀


  1. kefreenhyda · February 25, 2015

    Hello dear assalamualaikum to you im sorry for your loss but i do agree Allah will replace it with better things in time to come insha allah. Allah is the best planner of all. I do admit losing huge or little sum of $ is a pinch in our life but look at the bright side and redha all will fall in place. My own experienced I ever cancelled BTO onced after sign agreement lease I lost about $18K to HDB (argh) but im glad it happened cuz I get a better unit now nearer to future in laws insha allah. Hugs take care.


    • the wedding kraken · February 25, 2015

      thanks for your kind words and comfort, Hyda! sorry to hear about your cancelled BTO too but heyyyy being close to parents has perks! (espesh bila dah dapat anak heheh)

      • kefreenhyda · February 25, 2015

        Hehe yes true2 . You jgn stress ye insha allah all will fall in place stay happy always xoxo.

  2. kinOkz · February 25, 2015

    Oh dear. Bnyk betul vendors yng tk amanah. And i salute you for handling the situation calmly!

  3. waniserbunny · February 25, 2015

    Being as calm as you are with all this ruckus going on, is truly admirable. I loved this post, not because of what happened but because of how you handled it. I would have went batshit crazy naik sawan. I hope everything goes smoothly for you from hereon forth. *hugs*

    • the wedding kraken · February 25, 2015

      haha batshit crazy naik sawan! oh man love this phrase. I am going BCNS while waiting for my mak andam to call me for outfit selection… (T_T)

  4. aida · February 25, 2015

    OMG what a nightmare! In a foreign land somemore! So sorry you had to go through this. But I gotta hand it to you and your mom — you ladies handled the situation soooo well. I think I would’ve gone beserk. I really hope everything else goes as planned, insyaAllah!

    • the wedding kraken · February 25, 2015

      Aww thanks for the doa, Aida! I think we would have reacted differently if the guy had been Singaporean… the tailor has got home ground advantage on us heh.

  5. msmagiclikethis · February 25, 2015

    hello, i went through something similar judt recently. catering vendor went mia after i transferred deposit, threaten police report segala tapi tak jalan jugak. they magically returned 2 months later and posted on fb saying someone got jealous of their business and planted some benda ilmu halus to their phone connection which was why messages and calls cannot get through.

    anyway, really agree with you. it was a huge blow on me when i lost the deposit. but as they say, silver lining behind every grey cloud inshaa Allah. may the rest of the months be very smooth for you πŸ™‚

    • the wedding kraken · February 26, 2015

      oh dear, sorry to hear about your ex-caterer. I’m very impressed by the benda ilmu halus though. keeps up with technology… sampai Whatsapp pun dia boleh block eh? ada2 aje orang ni.

      thank you for your kind doa, I wish the same for you too! πŸ™‚ when’s your wedding date babe?

      • msmagiclikethis · February 26, 2015

        honestly i was thinking “merepek sei reason” but Allahualam. cuma Allah je balas la.

        thank you babe! inshaa Allah mine is this 2nd august πŸ™‚

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